Sunday, October 21, 2012

One Small Step.....

Trying to revamp all areas of one's life can be a daunting task. When I sit and think about everything I want to accomplish,it can make my head spin. One thing is tied in with the other. To create the home I truly want,I have to dig into myself and be the person I really want to be.That means,I have to clear up mental clutter and body clutter. I could organize my home and it could look perfect,but if I am swimming in a sea of mental and physical discontent,how I can truly enjoy it? It's a fake front.  A person's home is an extension of themselves. Clutter in the home means clutter in the person's mind,body,and spirit.I am working at the home,mind,and spirit clutter,but my greatest challenge is the body clutter  (AKA-FAT). I am wonderful at delaying the body part. Why? Probably because every time I start exercising and dieting,I sabotage myself. "Hey,"I say to myself," I lost 15 lbs. I can control it now."

Yeah,right. I gain it back plus another 15 lbs.

I hate clothes shopping,because nothing looks good on me. I have literally cried in the changing room. "Remember when you could wear whatever you wanted? Remember when you had a waist? Now look at you. You are disgusting," I hear my inner self say.  Fat clothes tend to be really ugly,and because I am only 5'2",most clothing for "heavier" gals tend to be average sized,not petite,which doesn't help matters.

How can I move forward on this front? I ponder it on a daily basis. I can't do the "I-am-going-to-diet-and-exercise-from-now-on" thing. It doesn't work. I lose my incentive. Not my gig. " Just do it already" does not work. People bugging me about it makes me want to eat more peanut butter cups (oh,how I love the sweet and salty makes me feel great until after they are gone and then I loathe myself). No,I cannot rely on others to motivate me. It has to come from within.Rick,bless his heart,loves me and thinks I am sexy no matter what.

The only thing I can do is start small. I can't look at it as trying to lose weight,because if it doesn't happen fast enough,I will feel defeated.If I have a bad day and eat something I shouldn't,I will feel like a failure and say,"Screw it. Give me that plate of fattening carb goodness."(whatever that fattening carb goodness might be) do I start slow? How do I gradually work being more active and watching my calorie intake into my life?

1)  No more snacking after 7:30. This is a very bad habit of mine...especially peanut butter cups.

2) Work exercise gradually into my life. I walked once last week. This week I am going to walk twice. I walk about a mile or so. It may not seem much to you,but for me,it's a big accomplishment. I will keep adding walks until the weather proves too nasty,then I will hit the elliptical instead and begin to include toning with weights.Even if I don't lose weight from these walks,I am training myself mentally and physically to get used to physical exercise and hopefully will be more apt to continue and build on it.

3) Don't be on a time frame .I've tried that. I've failed at it. I'm going to keep going at slow but steady pace. 

4) Healthy for me means when I like how I feel and look. It has nothing to do with how many pounds I am.

That's where I'm starting.

As far as home decluttering goes,I tidied up our bookcase this morning. It seems to be a  catch-all for paperwork for Rick,as well as other items:

It's much better now!

I thought I would leave you on a cute note. I was looking for M&M ( Mini Moxie) a while ago. I looked in all the little hiding places that we have found him in,and when I went into our bedroom,I happened to see him curled up on my big teddy bear:
Is that just too cute or what?

Have a fabulous day on this Fabulous Planet!


  1. Hi Donna, I am with you on the dieting front, I've tried them all and regained the weight plus more every time. I think the word diet conjured up the thought of denying yourself things you like, living on lettuce leaves or starving yourself. Have you noticed that the word diet is die with a 't' on the end! We can all lose weight, really that's the easy part, it's keeping it off that's the problem. How and what you choose to eat had to be a lifestyle, it has to become everyday, that's not to say you can have the odd meal out, or the odd blowout, life would be pretty dull if you couldn't eh? My turning point was realising that I turn 50 next year, and I didn't want to be fat at 50. My knees were hurting when I walked up the stairs, my hips were starting to give me trouble and to be honest I was feeling very unhealthy, the first time I've ever felt that way. If I didn't lose it now I never would and that I would be setting myself up for a very unhealthy old age. So far I've lost 11kgs that's not too far away from 2 stone and boy do I know that weight has gone. I still have a way to go yet, but this is the first time that I really feel I have the right mindset and a determination to keep the weight of once it's gone, I never want to be as big as I was a few months back, that girl is gone for good. I hated trying on clothes too, I've been there crying in the changing room. I don;t cry now though, I'm still big but I have a better body image, there are nice clothes out there that you can look good in, you've seen my blog. I have Sue to thank for that, she had such a sense of her own style and I think I'm beginning to develop a sense of my own. You will too, you just need to feel confident in yourself, you'll get there. Just do it. Now if only I could get my head around the exercise malarkey! ♥ (Sorry waffled a but there luv)

    1. I am so proud of you for working on your weight,you have been doing a fabulous job! It's true-we can't look at it as a diet,but a lifestyle change and that means getting out of this rut that I have been in for years. I too,am feeling my worst-climbing stairs,even one flight,winds me.I have no physical stamina,and I am tired of sweating when I am working in the garden when it's not even that hot out!
      I love your blog,even if I don't always respond,and look forward to your "weight" posts for inspiration!

  2. We are the same height! lol I agree that body and mind work together and you will get rid of that body clutter don't worry. The harder I am on myself it seems the harder it backfires when it comes to loosing :( Why did I not truly enjoy being able to wear anything when I could??? geesh :) Little M&M is so precious cuddled up with the bear and the bookshelf looks wonderful. It really lightens the mood as you walk through the house and see one thing after another that has been cleaned and organized. It makes me feel excited to continue on to the next thing. Hugs :)

  3. It does help seeing things in order,it helps me feel better,and inspires me to work harder in the areas I need to. If my surroundings can look nice,then I can certainly make myself feel and look the way I am comfortable with. I just have to do it :)
    Hugs! :)