Today we are having freezing rain. I was sitting on the deck just the other day enjoying the weather,and now,we have ice on our cars.
However,that will not squash the good news of the day.
Rick has finally been retired by the military. We got the call earlier today. After being wounded 8 years ago,four med boards,running to Dr's appts in Boston and Norwood MA,as well as Gilford NH,filling out hundreds of pages of repetitive paperwork,and three years of temporary retirement,it's finally over.
They gave him 100% disability. Like he said,he's not happy about being considered completely disabled,but he is glad it's finally over. Apparently they finally decided that his PTSD and TBI are not going to get better.
We are going to celebrate!!!
It pays to hang in,I guess.
Have a fabulous day on this Fabulous Planet!
Showing posts with label military. Show all posts
Showing posts with label military. Show all posts
Friday, April 12, 2013
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Paper Can Weigh You Down
Our file cabinet was at the point where if I opened the top drawer to access some of Rick's paperwork,the cabinet would pitch forward. Guess that means it's time weed out some documents!
A good portion of what I pulled out were duplicates of Rick's TDRL ( Temporary Disability Retirement List) appointment reports.Anyone in the military who has been diagnosed with PTSD is automatically put on this list for up to 5 years.They have to see a Dr when the military asks to see if the PTSD is better or not. Well,at this point,going on 8 years of being wounded and things staying the same,I would hope that the military would see that Rick should be fully retired.He has had three appts over the last two years,which my regular readers probably remember. Each time he has an appt,we have to wait for the Dr's report to be sent to a specific company who is handling the TDRL,and they send the hard copy to us.Rick has to sign a paper saying he agrees with the findings,a release of info form,and send a copy of what medications he's taking from the VA. Each time they send a new report,they also send copies of the old ones. We had over 240 pages of reports total,including the duplicates. Today I went through those reports and threw out the extras,so we only have one copy of each. I also went through some other old paperwork that we no longer need. I think the pile of paper weighed at least 5 lbs. It certainly freed up some space! At least the file cabinet no longer wants fall on top me when I open the top drawer.
Rick had been having a hard time lately. He has kept busy,to a point,but his confusion keeps him frustrated and his speech has been dragging,which adds to his frustration.A couple of times he broke down and cried. I don't blame him. No one can hold all that in indefinitely. You have to release it. I myself had a bad day yesterday.
We did begin making a pot rack out of an old ladder that My Dear Friend Michelle found for me ( Do I still owe you for that ladder,Michelle?). It only took two years,but hey, it's getting done. We do have to move it over slightly to the right,and we have to see if Rick can make the opening on one end of the "S" hooks we bought a bit bigger. I don't want to post a photo of it until it's completed,though.
Zach just celebrated his 15th birthday on March 3. We are so very proud of him. Zach and I went down to Somersworth to visit my Mom on his birthday and it was nice. We finally ( I say finally because Zach has been asking since 4th grade) bought him a phone. He is involved in different activities,so it's good to have his own line of communication. It's a very basic pay as you go phone,and we told him that he will have to pay for the minutes. We did buy him a new IPOD as well.
I went through my seeds and discovered that I have to get more corn seed. It's almost time to start some of my seedlings!
Have a fabulous day on this Fabulous Planet!
A good portion of what I pulled out were duplicates of Rick's TDRL ( Temporary Disability Retirement List) appointment reports.Anyone in the military who has been diagnosed with PTSD is automatically put on this list for up to 5 years.They have to see a Dr when the military asks to see if the PTSD is better or not. Well,at this point,going on 8 years of being wounded and things staying the same,I would hope that the military would see that Rick should be fully retired.He has had three appts over the last two years,which my regular readers probably remember. Each time he has an appt,we have to wait for the Dr's report to be sent to a specific company who is handling the TDRL,and they send the hard copy to us.Rick has to sign a paper saying he agrees with the findings,a release of info form,and send a copy of what medications he's taking from the VA. Each time they send a new report,they also send copies of the old ones. We had over 240 pages of reports total,including the duplicates. Today I went through those reports and threw out the extras,so we only have one copy of each. I also went through some other old paperwork that we no longer need. I think the pile of paper weighed at least 5 lbs. It certainly freed up some space! At least the file cabinet no longer wants fall on top me when I open the top drawer.
Rick had been having a hard time lately. He has kept busy,to a point,but his confusion keeps him frustrated and his speech has been dragging,which adds to his frustration.A couple of times he broke down and cried. I don't blame him. No one can hold all that in indefinitely. You have to release it. I myself had a bad day yesterday.
We did begin making a pot rack out of an old ladder that My Dear Friend Michelle found for me ( Do I still owe you for that ladder,Michelle?). It only took two years,but hey, it's getting done. We do have to move it over slightly to the right,and we have to see if Rick can make the opening on one end of the "S" hooks we bought a bit bigger. I don't want to post a photo of it until it's completed,though.
Zach just celebrated his 15th birthday on March 3. We are so very proud of him. Zach and I went down to Somersworth to visit my Mom on his birthday and it was nice. We finally ( I say finally because Zach has been asking since 4th grade) bought him a phone. He is involved in different activities,so it's good to have his own line of communication. It's a very basic pay as you go phone,and we told him that he will have to pay for the minutes. We did buy him a new IPOD as well.
I went through my seeds and discovered that I have to get more corn seed. It's almost time to start some of my seedlings!
Have a fabulous day on this Fabulous Planet!
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
How My Veteran Is Doing And New VA Programs For Family Members
Some of you who have been following this blog since it's inception may be wondering how Rick is doing.
He,as he always will,has good days and bad days. A good day is when he doesn't let his limitations frustrate him too much. A bad is when he lets his speech,reading,or thought patterns get to him and he gets overwhelmed and angry.
For those who are new to this blog,my husband was wounded in an RPG attack in Ramadi,Iraq on July 28, 2005. He suffers from chronic PTSD, and moderate TBI which has spawned all kinds of issues with reading comprehension,speech,thought process, writing,math,taste,smell,and memory. It has also caused issues with his pituitary gland,so he has to take testosterone shots,and he has hypothyroidism.The trauma also triggered Celiac's Disease. Our journey with the military and the VA,as well as our daily experiences dealing with all this led me to write this blog. It was a great outlet for me,and I was hopeful that perhaps someone who had been going through our experience could find solace in the fact that they are not the only ones who are dealing with these things.
Rick had begun a 12 week program through the VA called Cognitive Therapy. Unfortunately,as soon as he began remembering things that happened in Iraq ( causing him to have a bad flashback which led him to cry for almost an hour) his counselor wound up having to take a medical leave of absence. We are still waiting to hear when a new counselor will be assigned. There are so many soldiers coming back with PTSD and TBI that the VA is having a heck of a time keeping up,and I am heartened that the President has called on the VA to hire 800 more new counselors and for more money to be spent for mental issues.While it seems frustrating (and it can be!) the VA is actually in much better shape than in 2006 when Rick started going. The government was just not ready to deal with all the mental challenges that our service men and women were coming home with,and we actually had no TBI diagnosis until 2007. Now testing is mandatory when soldiers enter the VA system.
At any rate,we are waiting for a new PTSD counselor,although to be honest,Ken (our old one) felt Rick was about ready to start coming only every few months once the 12 week program was over,instead of every month like he had been doing before he began the program. He has been seeing PTSD counselors since 2006.
Rick is on what is called in military speak,TDRL ( Temporary Disabled Retirement Program). He can be kept on this for up to 5 years. He has to submit to testing whenever the military wants. This is a mandatory program for all vets who come back with PTSD. The hope is that with counseling,the vet will get better and be able to function in society,work,etc. That is all well and good for a soldier that gets help once they leave theater,but Rick received very little help once he was sent stateside after he was wounded. (He was sent to Fort Gordon,GA med hold) They basically gave him Valium and maybe once a month therapy for an hour,if it wasn't cancelled. Again, the government was not prepared for the influx of soldiers with mental issues. He dealt with this for 9 months and didn't start getting real help until the middle of 2006 when he started going to the VA,almost a year after his injury.The PTSD combined with his TBI makes me shake my head that the military is bothering to put him in this program,but I suppose rules are rules (even if they don't make sense-and the military rarely makes sense).
This past Spring,we went to Gilford for a physical and Boston for mental evaluations for the military.This was an update from when he went to the med board at Fort Drum three years ago to see if there was any improvement ,regression,or if things remained the same. We just heard back from them,and they want Rick to go through another physical evaluation-for his back (which has some problems with from back surgery long ago),his knees ( which are now fixed) and for his hearing (which,it was noted,has gotten worse). Why they are concentrating on these three issues is beyond me. The main issues are the mental problems,not the physical ones,at least,now since he has had both his knees replaced.The psychiatric Dr in Boston reaffirmed what others had told us-he can never work in the public realm again. Again, I don't understand the military's reasoning,but considering everything else they put us through (three med boards) we are just dealing with it.
Today he began filling out a form for a service dog so he can be more independent and go to stores,etc.They have great programs for vets that have PTSD/TBI. Right now it's too much for him to go to,say Walmart,by himself. We got as far as the second page and he had to stop. His poor brain was on overload.
I am in two new programs in the VA. The first one is the VA Caregiver Support program for spouses who are caregivers for their veterans. We have a phone group that touches base twice a month,and we have a workbook with a different subject for each phone session. I was asked specifically to join this group from the head of the Poly trauma (PTSD/TBI) Unit at the Manchester VA (she used to be Rick's PTSD counselor before Ken).She felt that since I had been going through this for so long,I might be able to offer some insight to newer wives. Though it's a good program,I wish it had been available when I really needed it 6 years ago.Most of it is what I have already dealt with,although there are still ongoing subjects that we continue to struggle with. This program allows us to have a counselor come to the house every three months to check in on us to see if there is anything she can help with,any questions she can answer,etc. Her name is Donna ( easy to remember!) and she is nice. She also brings a PTSD counselor that sits down with Brother B and I to discuss whatever issues may have come up. (Brother B is Rick's secondary caregiver).
The second program is called the SAFE Program-Support and Family Education. This is for members of the Caregiver Support Program. We meet once a month in Manchester,and like the previous program,it has a topic for each meeting.This is a more informative program rather than a counseling type of meeting. Our first meeting is What Causes Mental Illness. Some other topics include Depression,PTSD and it's impact on the family,Setting Boundaries,Problem solving,Creating a Low Stress Environment,Taking Care of Yourself,Managing Stress,TBI, etc. I can go to whatever topic applies,so I don't have to go every month,though I will probably go to most of them. I am very happy that the VA is now not only looking out for the Vets,but their families as well. PTSD and TBI is not just the soldiers problem,as it affects all members and dynamics of the family.No one should be ashamed to ask for help. Too many veterans are committing suicide. It's so sad and horrible.
If you are a vet,or a family member of vet who needs help,please do not wait !!! Go to your local VA. There is no shame in admitting you need help. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!!
Have a fabulous day on this Fabulous Planet!
He,as he always will,has good days and bad days. A good day is when he doesn't let his limitations frustrate him too much. A bad is when he lets his speech,reading,or thought patterns get to him and he gets overwhelmed and angry.
For those who are new to this blog,my husband was wounded in an RPG attack in Ramadi,Iraq on July 28, 2005. He suffers from chronic PTSD, and moderate TBI which has spawned all kinds of issues with reading comprehension,speech,thought process, writing,math,taste,smell,and memory. It has also caused issues with his pituitary gland,so he has to take testosterone shots,and he has hypothyroidism.The trauma also triggered Celiac's Disease. Our journey with the military and the VA,as well as our daily experiences dealing with all this led me to write this blog. It was a great outlet for me,and I was hopeful that perhaps someone who had been going through our experience could find solace in the fact that they are not the only ones who are dealing with these things.
Rick had begun a 12 week program through the VA called Cognitive Therapy. Unfortunately,as soon as he began remembering things that happened in Iraq ( causing him to have a bad flashback which led him to cry for almost an hour) his counselor wound up having to take a medical leave of absence. We are still waiting to hear when a new counselor will be assigned. There are so many soldiers coming back with PTSD and TBI that the VA is having a heck of a time keeping up,and I am heartened that the President has called on the VA to hire 800 more new counselors and for more money to be spent for mental issues.While it seems frustrating (and it can be!) the VA is actually in much better shape than in 2006 when Rick started going. The government was just not ready to deal with all the mental challenges that our service men and women were coming home with,and we actually had no TBI diagnosis until 2007. Now testing is mandatory when soldiers enter the VA system.
At any rate,we are waiting for a new PTSD counselor,although to be honest,Ken (our old one) felt Rick was about ready to start coming only every few months once the 12 week program was over,instead of every month like he had been doing before he began the program. He has been seeing PTSD counselors since 2006.
Rick is on what is called in military speak,TDRL ( Temporary Disabled Retirement Program). He can be kept on this for up to 5 years. He has to submit to testing whenever the military wants. This is a mandatory program for all vets who come back with PTSD. The hope is that with counseling,the vet will get better and be able to function in society,work,etc. That is all well and good for a soldier that gets help once they leave theater,but Rick received very little help once he was sent stateside after he was wounded. (He was sent to Fort Gordon,GA med hold) They basically gave him Valium and maybe once a month therapy for an hour,if it wasn't cancelled. Again, the government was not prepared for the influx of soldiers with mental issues. He dealt with this for 9 months and didn't start getting real help until the middle of 2006 when he started going to the VA,almost a year after his injury.The PTSD combined with his TBI makes me shake my head that the military is bothering to put him in this program,but I suppose rules are rules (even if they don't make sense-and the military rarely makes sense).
This past Spring,we went to Gilford for a physical and Boston for mental evaluations for the military.This was an update from when he went to the med board at Fort Drum three years ago to see if there was any improvement ,regression,or if things remained the same. We just heard back from them,and they want Rick to go through another physical evaluation-for his back (which has some problems with from back surgery long ago),his knees ( which are now fixed) and for his hearing (which,it was noted,has gotten worse). Why they are concentrating on these three issues is beyond me. The main issues are the mental problems,not the physical ones,at least,now since he has had both his knees replaced.The psychiatric Dr in Boston reaffirmed what others had told us-he can never work in the public realm again. Again, I don't understand the military's reasoning,but considering everything else they put us through (three med boards) we are just dealing with it.
Today he began filling out a form for a service dog so he can be more independent and go to stores,etc.They have great programs for vets that have PTSD/TBI. Right now it's too much for him to go to,say Walmart,by himself. We got as far as the second page and he had to stop. His poor brain was on overload.
I am in two new programs in the VA. The first one is the VA Caregiver Support program for spouses who are caregivers for their veterans. We have a phone group that touches base twice a month,and we have a workbook with a different subject for each phone session. I was asked specifically to join this group from the head of the Poly trauma (PTSD/TBI) Unit at the Manchester VA (she used to be Rick's PTSD counselor before Ken).She felt that since I had been going through this for so long,I might be able to offer some insight to newer wives. Though it's a good program,I wish it had been available when I really needed it 6 years ago.Most of it is what I have already dealt with,although there are still ongoing subjects that we continue to struggle with. This program allows us to have a counselor come to the house every three months to check in on us to see if there is anything she can help with,any questions she can answer,etc. Her name is Donna ( easy to remember!) and she is nice. She also brings a PTSD counselor that sits down with Brother B and I to discuss whatever issues may have come up. (Brother B is Rick's secondary caregiver).
The second program is called the SAFE Program-Support and Family Education. This is for members of the Caregiver Support Program. We meet once a month in Manchester,and like the previous program,it has a topic for each meeting.This is a more informative program rather than a counseling type of meeting. Our first meeting is What Causes Mental Illness. Some other topics include Depression,PTSD and it's impact on the family,Setting Boundaries,Problem solving,Creating a Low Stress Environment,Taking Care of Yourself,Managing Stress,TBI, etc. I can go to whatever topic applies,so I don't have to go every month,though I will probably go to most of them. I am very happy that the VA is now not only looking out for the Vets,but their families as well. PTSD and TBI is not just the soldiers problem,as it affects all members and dynamics of the family.No one should be ashamed to ask for help. Too many veterans are committing suicide. It's so sad and horrible.
If you are a vet,or a family member of vet who needs help,please do not wait !!! Go to your local VA. There is no shame in admitting you need help. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!!
Have a fabulous day on this Fabulous Planet!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
The Smell of Spring
The weather here has been absolutely lovely.(Today however,it's gray and drizzly) We have had record breaking temps the last few days in the state. Some areas have hit 70 degrees. Usually at this time of the year,we are in the 40's or colder. Most of the snow is gone,and I have been hearing the birds singing again,which is wonderful. Yesterday we had a couple windows open,and I could smell that lovely,fresh spring scent-a combination of clean,fresh air,and wet earth. It was fabulous!
The sad thing going on right now is our cat Moxie,got out and has been gone for a week. Moxie is the tiger cat we found in our woodpile last spring. Rick was letting the dogs out,and Moxie scooted right out the door,which he has never done before. He stopped on the deck,and Rick called him,but all he did was look at Rick,and take off. We haven't seen him since. I hope that someone finds him and calls the Vets office with the info on the Moxie's tag,but so far no luck. We have so many wild animals around here,especially coyotes,that I fear Moxie became a victim to one of them.
As much as I love my dogs,I am by nature a cat person. I love my cats.I love the softness of their fur,cuddling with them,and patting them. Moxie would jump on the bed with me,and I would pat him and he would purr away. Smokey is also missing him.They would play together. The first couple of days Smokey would walk around meowing,looking for Moxie. It was so sad. I am quite heartbroken over our missing Puss.
We decided not tap our trees this year. We have other left over business (ie the kitchen)that we need to get cracking on again. Between Rick's med change over and the health in the house,the last two months have pretty much been a wash. I am feeling back to normal again,though I still feel wiped out by 3:00 PM and more often than not I have been taking a bit of snooze at that time of the day. I guess the bronchitis really wiped me out more than I know. However, I have been doing more and going out more,so that is a good thing.
Friday is Rick and Donna's Excellent Adventure-we are heading down to Boston for Rick's psych evaluation for the military. We are going to take the Amtrak Downeaster out of Dover down to North Station,and from there hop on the T Green Line. I think Rick has been on trains when he was stationed in Italy-I have never been on one.Nor have either of us ever taken one into Boston. I just can't drive down there-I did it once,and it was like taking your life into your hands.Plus,there is no parking by the Dr office,which is in the Back Bay area. From were the green line drops us off it's only a 5 minute walk to the office. This should be interesting. A man with PTSD/TBI and a woman with anxiety issues in Boston trying to navigate the transportation system! It is probably easier than we know,but of course,whenever something comes up that I have never done before,the anxiety tends to take over.Once I accomplish it,and it's never as daunting as it is in my head,I always feel silly for getting so worked up to begin with. I know Rick is going to be pinging off the walls-his hypervigilence is going to be terrible,strange place,crowded train-and I know that he is going to wiped out by the end of the day. However,we are going to get down there early,find where we need to go,and to do some exploring in the Back Bay Village. Maybe we can even take a walk on the Common. It's supposedly not far from the Drs office. If this goes smoothly I hope to someday take another trek back to Boston with Rick and Zach and go to the Museum of Fine Arts. I went in school for a field trip and fell in love with it!
Right now I am all by myself.Rick and Brother B are going down to Brother Dale's house for something or another,then going to Paul's house to drop off some metal for for him. Paul is an Army Buddy of Rick's who was in Iraq with him,and he collects metal for extra money. I don't get to be alone in the house very often,and I admit I enjoy the silence. I usually have to have something for background noise-the radio or the TV-but at this moment,the silence is lovely. All I hear are the dogs heavy breathing as they sleep. The dishes are washed,the wood stove going,and the house is nice and cozy. I am working on the instep on Brother B's sock,the mate to the one I knitted last year :) I have also been reading "The Six Wives of Henry the Eighth" which has been a very informative and fascinating read. I started my interest with Henry the Eighth after watching "The Tudors",which I am re- watching now at night. Any historical subject that I find intriguing makes me want to learn more about it-hence,learning about Henry's wives and the Tudors. Keep learning,I always say.
I hope all is well in your part of the Lovely Planet!
The sad thing going on right now is our cat Moxie,got out and has been gone for a week. Moxie is the tiger cat we found in our woodpile last spring. Rick was letting the dogs out,and Moxie scooted right out the door,which he has never done before. He stopped on the deck,and Rick called him,but all he did was look at Rick,and take off. We haven't seen him since. I hope that someone finds him and calls the Vets office with the info on the Moxie's tag,but so far no luck. We have so many wild animals around here,especially coyotes,that I fear Moxie became a victim to one of them.
As much as I love my dogs,I am by nature a cat person. I love my cats.I love the softness of their fur,cuddling with them,and patting them. Moxie would jump on the bed with me,and I would pat him and he would purr away. Smokey is also missing him.They would play together. The first couple of days Smokey would walk around meowing,looking for Moxie. It was so sad. I am quite heartbroken over our missing Puss.
We decided not tap our trees this year. We have other left over business (ie the kitchen)that we need to get cracking on again. Between Rick's med change over and the health in the house,the last two months have pretty much been a wash. I am feeling back to normal again,though I still feel wiped out by 3:00 PM and more often than not I have been taking a bit of snooze at that time of the day. I guess the bronchitis really wiped me out more than I know. However, I have been doing more and going out more,so that is a good thing.
Friday is Rick and Donna's Excellent Adventure-we are heading down to Boston for Rick's psych evaluation for the military. We are going to take the Amtrak Downeaster out of Dover down to North Station,and from there hop on the T Green Line. I think Rick has been on trains when he was stationed in Italy-I have never been on one.Nor have either of us ever taken one into Boston. I just can't drive down there-I did it once,and it was like taking your life into your hands.Plus,there is no parking by the Dr office,which is in the Back Bay area. From were the green line drops us off it's only a 5 minute walk to the office. This should be interesting. A man with PTSD/TBI and a woman with anxiety issues in Boston trying to navigate the transportation system! It is probably easier than we know,but of course,whenever something comes up that I have never done before,the anxiety tends to take over.Once I accomplish it,and it's never as daunting as it is in my head,I always feel silly for getting so worked up to begin with. I know Rick is going to be pinging off the walls-his hypervigilence is going to be terrible,strange place,crowded train-and I know that he is going to wiped out by the end of the day. However,we are going to get down there early,find where we need to go,and to do some exploring in the Back Bay Village. Maybe we can even take a walk on the Common. It's supposedly not far from the Drs office. If this goes smoothly I hope to someday take another trek back to Boston with Rick and Zach and go to the Museum of Fine Arts. I went in school for a field trip and fell in love with it!
Right now I am all by myself.Rick and Brother B are going down to Brother Dale's house for something or another,then going to Paul's house to drop off some metal for for him. Paul is an Army Buddy of Rick's who was in Iraq with him,and he collects metal for extra money. I don't get to be alone in the house very often,and I admit I enjoy the silence. I usually have to have something for background noise-the radio or the TV-but at this moment,the silence is lovely. All I hear are the dogs heavy breathing as they sleep. The dishes are washed,the wood stove going,and the house is nice and cozy. I am working on the instep on Brother B's sock,the mate to the one I knitted last year :) I have also been reading "The Six Wives of Henry the Eighth" which has been a very informative and fascinating read. I started my interest with Henry the Eighth after watching "The Tudors",which I am re- watching now at night. Any historical subject that I find intriguing makes me want to learn more about it-hence,learning about Henry's wives and the Tudors. Keep learning,I always say.
I hope all is well in your part of the Lovely Planet!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Out And About Again
Saturday was my first day out in over a week. My Dear Friend Michelle and I went down to East Kingston for a Gardening Seminar,put on in part by the UNH Cooperative Extension Service. We got there early,so after scouting out where the building ( an old one room schoolhouse) was,we went to a little antique shop down the road to pass the time. Once we went back to the school,it didn't take long for the gardening folk to start filtering in.There was not a lot of seating,which is why it was a pre sign up event.
The first speaker discussed soil,temperature,etc.,the rather clinical stuff that tends to make my eyes glaze over. We then took a break for some food and drink (sponsored by the local Grange). The second speaker was a woman who discussed permaculture and "lasagna" gardening. Michelle and I both found her more interesting. There was also a bit of discussion about GMO's. After the speakers,they had seeds and starter trays for folks who wanted to learn more about seed starting. Since we are familiar with that,we decided to check out another antique store before heading back home. We had a great afternoon,with lots of laughter.One thing that I found a bit ironic was that we discussed how so many talented people pass away early because of their demons. Then that night came the news that Whitney Houston passed away.
Yesterday was Valentine's Day,and Rick and I decided to go out for dinner this year. We went to a place called the Governors Inn in Rochester. The Governors Inn is the old home of former NH Governor Spaulding-it's a gorgeous old house. We sat in the parlor area next to the fireplace and had a fabulous meal-Rick had Chicken Florentine (which happened to be gluten free!) and I had Filet Mignon. The meal was delicious and the company lovely! :)
Rick is now getting used to this new meds,so he's starting to feel a bit better. The Depakote does not dull him as much as the Seroquil,so he is more aware of things around him,which in turn causes him a bit more stress,but he has been dealing with it well.
We heard from the med board,and Rick has two appts-one tomorrow in Gilford,NH for the physical part and one down in Boston next week for the mental part. Rick is on "temporary retirement"-anyone that has been diagnosed with PTSD is put on it to see if they will get better. Well, that is fine if the soldier actually gets intensive help right after they come out of combat,but pretty useless if the soldier not only has PTSD but TBI as well,and the soldier isn't even diagnosed with TBI until 2 years after he returns home,which is what Rick's circumstance is.These are issues that have to addressed ASAP,not a year or two down the road. The military can put you on temporary retirement for up to 5 years,and you have to keep going to these evaluations until they determine that 1)you can do your job in the military or 2)you have to be medically out. He is 100% disabled through the VA,so whatever the military decides really doesn't matter. He's still disabled and not reenlisting in the service. At any rate,I have a feeling that he will be officially retired after these appointments. At least, I hope so.
Time to make some crock pot chili. Have a fabulous day!!!
The first speaker discussed soil,temperature,etc.,the rather clinical stuff that tends to make my eyes glaze over. We then took a break for some food and drink (sponsored by the local Grange). The second speaker was a woman who discussed permaculture and "lasagna" gardening. Michelle and I both found her more interesting. There was also a bit of discussion about GMO's. After the speakers,they had seeds and starter trays for folks who wanted to learn more about seed starting. Since we are familiar with that,we decided to check out another antique store before heading back home. We had a great afternoon,with lots of laughter.One thing that I found a bit ironic was that we discussed how so many talented people pass away early because of their demons. Then that night came the news that Whitney Houston passed away.
Yesterday was Valentine's Day,and Rick and I decided to go out for dinner this year. We went to a place called the Governors Inn in Rochester. The Governors Inn is the old home of former NH Governor Spaulding-it's a gorgeous old house. We sat in the parlor area next to the fireplace and had a fabulous meal-Rick had Chicken Florentine (which happened to be gluten free!) and I had Filet Mignon. The meal was delicious and the company lovely! :)
Rick is now getting used to this new meds,so he's starting to feel a bit better. The Depakote does not dull him as much as the Seroquil,so he is more aware of things around him,which in turn causes him a bit more stress,but he has been dealing with it well.
We heard from the med board,and Rick has two appts-one tomorrow in Gilford,NH for the physical part and one down in Boston next week for the mental part. Rick is on "temporary retirement"-anyone that has been diagnosed with PTSD is put on it to see if they will get better. Well, that is fine if the soldier actually gets intensive help right after they come out of combat,but pretty useless if the soldier not only has PTSD but TBI as well,and the soldier isn't even diagnosed with TBI until 2 years after he returns home,which is what Rick's circumstance is.These are issues that have to addressed ASAP,not a year or two down the road. The military can put you on temporary retirement for up to 5 years,and you have to keep going to these evaluations until they determine that 1)you can do your job in the military or 2)you have to be medically out. He is 100% disabled through the VA,so whatever the military decides really doesn't matter. He's still disabled and not reenlisting in the service. At any rate,I have a feeling that he will be officially retired after these appointments. At least, I hope so.
Time to make some crock pot chili. Have a fabulous day!!!
Friday, November 11, 2011
Happy Veterans Day
Today we honor those who have protected our freedom. Where Memorial Day honors those who gave the ultimate sacrifice,Veterans Day honors all those who were willing to put their life on the line for us.
As for my family,I have had many who have served: My Dad ( Army, New Guinea,WWII),my brother Valmore (Army, Vietnam),my brother in law,Tom ( Air Force,Vietnam),my brother Dennis ( Sea Bees,Gulf War),my niece Tara (Air Force,OIF),and her hubby Scott (Air Force,OIF), my Uncle Bobby (Army,Korea),and my Uncle Valmore (Army,WW II-killed in Hawaii by someone in his tent cleaning his rifle).Brother B was in the Army National Guard. My father in law,Dick,was in the Coast Guard during the Bay of Pigs. Rick's uncle was a POW in Vietnam.
While my family has had many serve,Rick's family has a long line of military service.His family has been here in the US since the 1620's. They came over from England with the wave of Puritans fleeing for their religious freedom.In fact,he has family members that arrived in Plymouth,MA in the boat after the Mayflower,which was called the Anne.He has had family members who fought in every war since the French and Indian Wars.Some died in war,one at Valley Forge,and a great great grandfather who died in the Civil war at Fredricksburg and is buried in Virginia.
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| A down time moment at Camp Shelby,MS |
When I met Rick,he was already a veteran.He had been in Airborne in the 1980's,stationed in Italy and had been in many "quick" combat missions (which of course,he can't tell me about). I refer to them as "Reagan's Secret Little Wars." He did serve in Nicaragua,which is not a place he remembers with great fondness.
In 2000,he wanted to get back into service,so he joined the National Guard. Then of course, 9/11 happened,and he went to Iraq after doing two tours on Homeland Security at the Air National Guard base down in Newington(Former Pease Air Force Base,now the Pease International Tradeport)
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| Ready to meet whatever comes his way |
Rick was sent to Ramadi,which at the time was the worst place in Iraq. It is located in the Sunni Triangle,or,"The Triangle of Death." It is on a main highway from Syria,where many of the insurgents came from. To quote one solider, "In 2004-2005,Ramadi was the shit." Reporters were rarely allowed into the city because it was so dangerous. Rick became a Scout,which meant he could sneak around gathering intel,or kick in doors and take prisoners. He also called in air support,and was a "long distance problem solver." They were attacked daily,several times a day.He saw combat each day.He took lives. He also helped train the Iraqis,which on more than one occasion, fled when they were attacked,leaving Rick by himself. When they went on patrol in town,he was either on point or in the rear. He did not have the luxury of staying at Forward Operating Base (FOB).He stayed in Outposts in outside of town.They were wooden shacks,no shower,etc. There were those who were at the base who never left it. They were referred to as FOBBITS by those who actually engaged in combat,and it was not a compliment. When there would be hot water at the FOB,it would be gone by the time Rick and his fellow Scouts went to shower,because the officers used it all (who never left the base).
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| One of the outposts |
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| One of my favorite phots |
Before Rick was in the Scouts,he was in a squad that patrolled in Bradleys. He was in the turret quite often.
He was wounded on July 28,2005 in an RPG attack. He spent two weeks at Landstahl in Germany,before being sent to Fort Gordon,GA ( Walter Reed was full) where he was in medhold until April 2006.
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| Rick home for good! |
Of course,that is where our struggle as a family really began-living with PTSD and TBI and dealing with it. It has made us stronger,but it took a toll on our marriage for a few years. His emotional walls were up so high,I could tell as soon as I held him for the first time since he was wounded that he wasn't the same.I could feel it. It took a few years for those walls to come down,thanks to medication and therapy (which he still does) and he is more like his old self. Our connection finally returned three years ago,and it still took a while to get back to where we were even then.
So,while this day is about Veterans and their sacrifices,I want to give a shout out to the families of veterans as well. They cried tears of sorrow,tears of joy,and tears of frustration. There are some whose loved ones are no longer here,and there are those who lost their loved ones due to mental issues and who have seen their marriages crumble. There are those who are caregivers to the physically and mentally disabled,and there are those who are blessed with no issues.Whatever their circumstances,they also deserve to be thought of today.
A couple years ago,we went to Malone,NY to visit the boyhood home of Almanzo Wilder(Laura Ingalls Wilder's hubby). Our tour group consisted of the three of us and a couple from Ontario. The gentleman was a retired member of the Canadian Air Force. Rick thanked him for his service to his country and shook his hand. The gentleman looked taken aback at first,thanked Rick as well,then commented,"It took me 19 years and to have to come to the US before anyone ever thanked me." So...thank you. Thank you to our wonderful Canadian friends up North (hello,Kymber),thank you to all those countries who have sacrificed for the greater good and who have supported the US with your blood,sweat,and tears throughout our history,and of course,thank you to My Fellow Americans. You continue to keep us free. I am humbled and grateful.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Lest We Forget The 1%
Yesterday I was watching Oprah,as usual. On this show was Tom Brokaw,Bob Woodward,and First Lady Michelle Obama. They were there to talk about veterans and military families.
Tom Brokaw had called Oprah to ask here when she was going to do a show about veterans, those who gave the ultimate sacrifice and their families. She replied that she had just done a show about female veterans. He asked her if she personally knew anyone who was serving or who had served. She replied that she didn't.He responded that was because only 1% of folks here in the US serve in the military,so chances are,because she didn't know any veterans,she probably didn't think a lot about it.
She realized that he was right.It wasn't in her consciousness.This is true of many Americans. It's not that they don't support the troops, but,if you don't know someone who served,the war is far away. Since we don't see much of it on TV,it falls to back burner.
When Rick was wounded back in 2005,I told folks what happened. He was in an RPG attack.People would look at me blankly,and the first question they would ask is,"What's an RPG?"
I was shocked. Now,this was when things were bad in Iraq and it was all over the news. RPGs and IED's where common lingo,I thought. Yet people didn't know what RPG stood for. ( It stands for Rocket Propelled Grenade,by the way).
The first Oprah story was about a solider who,in 2005,was in Iraq and his vehicle hit an IED. He wound up blind,and had to learn how speak and walk again. Part of his skull had been removed. The second story was about a Mom who visits her son 3-4 times a year.She brings his favorite music,and reads to him.Her son is buried in Arlington National Cemetery. He was killed in Ramadi in January 2005,just a few months before Rick arrived .In 2005, Ramadi was the worst place on earth. Rick still cannot talk about everything he did and saw over there.
It is going on 6 years since Rick was wounded. However,sometimes I still have a big problem watching wounded veterans,especially ones with severe brain injuries or stories about those who gave their lives. I started crying during the first segment,and when the second segment came on,I cried even harder. Especially since this particular solider was killed in Ramadi.It's a mixture of feelings. First,you feel bad for the soldier and their family.Then you put yourself in their place.If one of the three RPG's had landed closer,or if Rick had run in the wrong direction,he could've been blinded,incapacitated,or worse. Then comes the overwhelming feeling of gratitude that your loved one only has the injury that he has. It can always be much worse.
I am grateful to First Lady Obama and Dr Jill Biden for working to help military families. It seems the less we hear about the wars,the less interested people are in it. Don't get me wrong,we have had lovely people come up to Rick,shake his hand,and thank him for his service. It makes us feel good.Actions,however,speak louder than words. If you don't know someone who is serving,there are many organizations that you can contact to see how you can help an active duty member or a disabled vet.I think the First Lady has some links on her website. Some groups I am aware of are the Veterans Administration,the Wounded Warriors Project,the American Legion,or the VFW.
We cannot forget our 1%.They are bearing the burden for the remaining 99% so we can live in freedom.Bless all those who have served.Without them,we wouldn't be who we are.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Happy Veterans Day!
Today here in the US it's Veterans Day,when we honor all those who have served or are currently serving in our military.
My family has many veterans in it,some still with us and some who have passed. Rick's family has veterans in it going as far back as the 1600's,when the French and Indian Wars were being fought.My family didn't arrive here in the States until the late 1800's,so our military past is not as long as his family,but we have done our share.
Although I am sure I had some members fight in WW I,no one has ever told me about them,so I have no direct knowledge of it. I know my Grandfather Lessard signed up for the draft,but he was never called up. My Dad was just a young boy,having been born in 1914.
Veterans Day stemmed from WW I. On the eleventh hour on the eleventh day of the eleventh month in 1918,a temporary armistice was signed,which was in effect until the Treaty of Versailles was signed in 1919,officially ending WW I,or,as it was called then,The War to End All Wars.No one could imagine another war being fought on that scale and magnitude. (Sad to say that would not last). The first official Armistice Day was signed in 1919 by President Wilson. In 1921,the Tomb of the Unknown Solider was created,and on November 11 of that year,Congress declared it a legal holiday in honor of the Tomb for all who fought in WW I. In 1938,Congress passed legislation making November 11 a legal federal holiday,known as Armistice Day. Up to then,it had been moved around a bit,and the states had control over if they celebrated it or not,which the majority did. Then WW II happened. In 1954,President Eisenhower signed legislation declaring that November 11 would be known as Veterans Day,to honor all Veterans who served.This became a national,Federal holiday that all states observe.
This is a photo of my Dad with some of his gun squad.He is in the very front. He was in the 197th Coastal Anti Aircraft Artillery during WW II,and like I mentioned in a previous post,he was stationed in New Guinea.This photo was taken when he was stationed at Camp Hulen,Texas,training,before they left for Australia.His brother,my Uncle Valmore,was in the Army as well,but he was in Hawaii,where he was killed by a fellow soldier who was cleaning his rifle.The rifle had a round in it,and when my Uncle Valmore walked into the tent,the gun accidentally went off,killing him. He was the first person from our town of Somersworth killed during WW II. The VFW (Veterans of Foreign Wars) post in Somersworth is named the Gagnon-Lessard post ( first to die in both World Wars).
My Dad,come to find out,served in the same unit with my mother's Uncle Robert. My mother still wonders to this day how Uncle Robert got into the service,considering he was hard of hearing,but somehow he did.When he had to fire the big anti artillery gun,my Dad would tap him on the shoulder. (My parents didn't meet until after my Dad got back from the war).
My dad's brother,Bobby,served in the Korean War in the Army.My Uncle Bobby was very nice,but suffered from PTSD. From what family has said,he was in a convoy which was attacked,and he saw his friends get blown up. I am sure there is a bit more to the story,but that is all I know. He spent some time in a psych hospital,and struggled with it the rest of his life.
My Dad's sister,Margaret,was either in the WACs or was a WAVE...which one escapes me at the moment.
My oldest brother,Valmore,joined the Army and was sent to the DMZ in Korea during the Vietnam War.My sister's husband,Tom,was in the Air Force and flew tankers,and was stationed in South Vietnam at Ton San Nuht (spelled wrong?) air base. My brother Dennis was in the Sea Bees,and went to either Saudi Arabia or Kuwait as support during Desert Storm.
Then we have my hubby.....
Rick joined the Army National Guard in 1981,and then went into the regular Army,in the 4/325th Airborne Combat Team in Italy.Then,when he got back to the States,he was put in the 82nd Airborne. He got out,and then went into the Army National Guard in 2000. He then went to Iraq in 2005,where he was Scout. While there he was wounded,earning him the Purple Heart and the Combat Action Badge. As you long time readers of my blog know,he suffers from chronic PTSD and a brain injury.
My father in law,Dick,was in the Coast Guard and participated as support during the Bay of Pigs.Rick's Uncle George (husband to his Aunt Linda)was a prisoner of war during Vietnam. Rick and Brother B remember watching TV to see if his name would be with the list of POW's released. Dick's brother, Ray,also served in Vietnam in the Army. Brother B was in the Army National Guard,and came thisclose to going to Granada,but it was over really before it began.
My family has many veterans in it,some still with us and some who have passed. Rick's family has veterans in it going as far back as the 1600's,when the French and Indian Wars were being fought.My family didn't arrive here in the States until the late 1800's,so our military past is not as long as his family,but we have done our share.
Although I am sure I had some members fight in WW I,no one has ever told me about them,so I have no direct knowledge of it. I know my Grandfather Lessard signed up for the draft,but he was never called up. My Dad was just a young boy,having been born in 1914.
Veterans Day stemmed from WW I. On the eleventh hour on the eleventh day of the eleventh month in 1918,a temporary armistice was signed,which was in effect until the Treaty of Versailles was signed in 1919,officially ending WW I,or,as it was called then,The War to End All Wars.No one could imagine another war being fought on that scale and magnitude. (Sad to say that would not last). The first official Armistice Day was signed in 1919 by President Wilson. In 1921,the Tomb of the Unknown Solider was created,and on November 11 of that year,Congress declared it a legal holiday in honor of the Tomb for all who fought in WW I. In 1938,Congress passed legislation making November 11 a legal federal holiday,known as Armistice Day. Up to then,it had been moved around a bit,and the states had control over if they celebrated it or not,which the majority did. Then WW II happened. In 1954,President Eisenhower signed legislation declaring that November 11 would be known as Veterans Day,to honor all Veterans who served.This became a national,Federal holiday that all states observe.
This is a photo of my Dad with some of his gun squad.He is in the very front. He was in the 197th Coastal Anti Aircraft Artillery during WW II,and like I mentioned in a previous post,he was stationed in New Guinea.This photo was taken when he was stationed at Camp Hulen,Texas,training,before they left for Australia.His brother,my Uncle Valmore,was in the Army as well,but he was in Hawaii,where he was killed by a fellow soldier who was cleaning his rifle.The rifle had a round in it,and when my Uncle Valmore walked into the tent,the gun accidentally went off,killing him. He was the first person from our town of Somersworth killed during WW II. The VFW (Veterans of Foreign Wars) post in Somersworth is named the Gagnon-Lessard post ( first to die in both World Wars).My Dad,come to find out,served in the same unit with my mother's Uncle Robert. My mother still wonders to this day how Uncle Robert got into the service,considering he was hard of hearing,but somehow he did.When he had to fire the big anti artillery gun,my Dad would tap him on the shoulder. (My parents didn't meet until after my Dad got back from the war).
My dad's brother,Bobby,served in the Korean War in the Army.My Uncle Bobby was very nice,but suffered from PTSD. From what family has said,he was in a convoy which was attacked,and he saw his friends get blown up. I am sure there is a bit more to the story,but that is all I know. He spent some time in a psych hospital,and struggled with it the rest of his life.
My Dad's sister,Margaret,was either in the WACs or was a WAVE...which one escapes me at the moment.
My oldest brother,Valmore,joined the Army and was sent to the DMZ in Korea during the Vietnam War.My sister's husband,Tom,was in the Air Force and flew tankers,and was stationed in South Vietnam at Ton San Nuht (spelled wrong?) air base. My brother Dennis was in the Sea Bees,and went to either Saudi Arabia or Kuwait as support during Desert Storm.
Then we have my hubby.....
Rick joined the Army National Guard in 1981,and then went into the regular Army,in the 4/325th Airborne Combat Team in Italy.Then,when he got back to the States,he was put in the 82nd Airborne. He got out,and then went into the Army National Guard in 2000. He then went to Iraq in 2005,where he was Scout. While there he was wounded,earning him the Purple Heart and the Combat Action Badge. As you long time readers of my blog know,he suffers from chronic PTSD and a brain injury.My father in law,Dick,was in the Coast Guard and participated as support during the Bay of Pigs.Rick's Uncle George (husband to his Aunt Linda)was a prisoner of war during Vietnam. Rick and Brother B remember watching TV to see if his name would be with the list of POW's released. Dick's brother, Ray,also served in Vietnam in the Army. Brother B was in the Army National Guard,and came thisclose to going to Granada,but it was over really before it began.
As you can see, both the Lessards and Shaws have many veterans in them,and I haven't even written about them all.
Thank you,veterans,for defending this country of ours...we are the land of the free because of the you,the brave.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Then and Now
I have a list of blogs that I enjoy reading,though I don't comment on them a lot. Several of them are from Australia and New Zealand ( Hello Rhonda Jean,Sue,Rina,Damaris and Laura!).Right now in the Land Down Under they are beginning their Spring season.It's nice to see their photos of flowers blooming and gardens coming to life.Here in NH,it's quite the opposite,though.
Remember my favorite tree? The colors were so pretty just a few weeks ago:
This is what it now looks like:
Goodbye,colorful leaves.....ALL leaves. This is what most of the trees look like now. Bare. Except of course for the pine trees. We do have few leaf bearing trees that still have leaves on them,but they are a deep rust color and very sparse. My yard has more leaves than the trees! :)
Remember my favorite tree? The colors were so pretty just a few weeks ago:
This is what it now looks like:
Goodbye,colorful leaves.....ALL leaves. This is what most of the trees look like now. Bare. Except of course for the pine trees. We do have few leaf bearing trees that still have leaves on them,but they are a deep rust color and very sparse. My yard has more leaves than the trees! :)Last night I lit all our candles and oil lamps. I was in the mood to create a cozy atmosphere. I counted 22 lit at once. I would've liked to have taken a photo of how pretty it was,but those type of photos never come out for me. There is something very relaxing about candlelight. We noticed that the house was getting warm-no wood stove was going,and the thermostat was set down to 67 degrees. The temperature in the living room was 77 degrees. Hmmm. I then went to an oil lamp and held my hand over the glass chimney. A surprising amount of heat was coming out of it. The seven oil lamps and candles were creating enough heat to keep the main rooms warm.
While the flames were giving us heat,we watched "The Pacific",produced by Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg. We just purchased the mini series a few days ago,and have been watching a couple episodes a night.Last night the fourth episode concentrated about the soldiers time in Australia. I have a special interest in the Pacific during World War II,because my Dad served there. He was in Australia and New Guinea,and some place he called Moretai Island (the spelling is probably wrong,I apologize). My Dad had a great respect and affinity for Australians.He said the people were warm and friendly,and that the soldiers were tough fighters. He would be tickled that I have blogging friends from there. He was with the 197th Coastal Artillery,anti aircraft. He went from Camp Hulan in Texas right to Australia,then to Hollandia, New Guinea. I know he was in different areas in New Guinea,but he really didn't speak of it much.One thing I do remember is that he talked about how the natives would help the Allies,even the head hunters,because the Japanese were so brutal to them. I would love to find some show or documentary about the New Guinea campaign,but haven't so far. We have only seen the first two discs of the 6 disc series,so I am hoping they might have little something about it,even if it is only based on fact and not a documentary.
So today my thoughts range from our country fighting side by side with our Australian brethren 68 years ago,to pretty,colorful flowers being posted by my Down Under blogging friends. From war to flowers,then and now.
Friday, October 1, 2010
When It Rains,It Pours
Didn't I say in my last post that it was rainy and raw? Well,the raw didn't last and turned into humidity. It has been rainy and humid here the last couple of days,and right now we are on the tail end of a tropical depression that inched it's way up the eastern seaboard.There are flood watches,though mostly in the western part of the state.Tomorrow is suppose to be a much better day,sunny,and cooler.Right now it is down pouring. I love to hear the rain,though.Especially when I am trying to sleep and I can hear it on the roof. Very soothing.
We have been gearing up for winter,working down our list. Wednesday we had our oil tank topped off. Yesterday we had our septic tank pumped out. Then,our well water finally went below the suction level,so we weren't getting any water. This summer has been very dry,and our well was getting low to start with ( we have a dug well). We don't know if the spring that flows to the well has gotten smaller,or if a rock settled in it somewhere blocking the flow,but our well has been getting lower and lower for the last three years. We are not the only ones who have been seeing lower water levels. Happily,our neighbor Darlene had used a company who fills pools,wells,etc,and she gave us their number. He was at the house within 6 hours,and filled our well up. So we now have plenty of wood for three years,a full oil tank,an empty septic,and a full well.
I made pumpkin puree on Wednesday. It was much easier than I thought it would be. I used two Sugar pumpkins (but one at a time). I cut it in half,cleaned out the seeds and stringy goop,then cut it into quarters. I placed the quarters in a microwave dish,with a couple inches of water. I put the lid on the dish,and cooked it for 15 minutes on high. I then cooked it for 10 minutes on high,and the pieces were soft enough to poke with a fork.The rind came off easily,and I attempted to puree it in my blender. I should have known better.That blender never worked well (it was free) and even though the blade spun,it would do nothing (I had a flash back to trying to make icy drinks in vain). I threw it out. I have only used the blender twice in the last 5 years,so spending money to have it fixed wasn't something that popped into my head. A food processor might be a more worthy investment. I used my hand mixer and it worked well. I measured out 1 3/4 cups of puree for each freezer bag ( 1 3/4 cups is roughly 15 oz,the size of a can of pumpkin).Now I have two freezer bags ready for use. The first batch wasn't watery,but the second one was,so I pressed the puree down with my hands,pushing out the water ,and poured the excess down the drain.
Yesterday I began organizing my closet,and finally decided to get rid of clothes that I have been hanging on to in the hope that they will someday fit,clothes that are stained,or clothes that aren't comfortable but bought because I needed something for an occasion. They are piled up in a box,and I am going to bring them to the local CAP office. Now if I can just get Rick to do the same...... :) I do need to go through my genealogy papers,and this winter I am going to finally get all that information onto my family tree maker program. I also need to go through our file cabinet and see how I can improve upon the files. We have mulitple copies of things,because the military would always lose documents.However,we have a copy machine and we really don't need to keep 10 copies of Rick's Purple Heart orders on hand,for instance. We can use any unneeded papers for fire starter,or for scrap paper. Whichever comes first. Again,that will be a winter project.
Right now I am in the process of making gluten free pie crust for an apple pie. The crust has to chill for an hour. While that is going on,I am washing Zach's bedding,then I should do some ironing.One load is in the dryer,the other in the washer.Rick will probably have to roll out the crust,though.Rolling crust and I don't mix. I wind up trying it several times and he always has to rescue me!He seems to have the magic touch.
Well, I need to go get the apples ready,so I should scoot. Have a great day in your place in the world!
We have been gearing up for winter,working down our list. Wednesday we had our oil tank topped off. Yesterday we had our septic tank pumped out. Then,our well water finally went below the suction level,so we weren't getting any water. This summer has been very dry,and our well was getting low to start with ( we have a dug well). We don't know if the spring that flows to the well has gotten smaller,or if a rock settled in it somewhere blocking the flow,but our well has been getting lower and lower for the last three years. We are not the only ones who have been seeing lower water levels. Happily,our neighbor Darlene had used a company who fills pools,wells,etc,and she gave us their number. He was at the house within 6 hours,and filled our well up. So we now have plenty of wood for three years,a full oil tank,an empty septic,and a full well.
I made pumpkin puree on Wednesday. It was much easier than I thought it would be. I used two Sugar pumpkins (but one at a time). I cut it in half,cleaned out the seeds and stringy goop,then cut it into quarters. I placed the quarters in a microwave dish,with a couple inches of water. I put the lid on the dish,and cooked it for 15 minutes on high. I then cooked it for 10 minutes on high,and the pieces were soft enough to poke with a fork.The rind came off easily,and I attempted to puree it in my blender. I should have known better.That blender never worked well (it was free) and even though the blade spun,it would do nothing (I had a flash back to trying to make icy drinks in vain). I threw it out. I have only used the blender twice in the last 5 years,so spending money to have it fixed wasn't something that popped into my head. A food processor might be a more worthy investment. I used my hand mixer and it worked well. I measured out 1 3/4 cups of puree for each freezer bag ( 1 3/4 cups is roughly 15 oz,the size of a can of pumpkin).Now I have two freezer bags ready for use. The first batch wasn't watery,but the second one was,so I pressed the puree down with my hands,pushing out the water ,and poured the excess down the drain.
Yesterday I began organizing my closet,and finally decided to get rid of clothes that I have been hanging on to in the hope that they will someday fit,clothes that are stained,or clothes that aren't comfortable but bought because I needed something for an occasion. They are piled up in a box,and I am going to bring them to the local CAP office. Now if I can just get Rick to do the same...... :) I do need to go through my genealogy papers,and this winter I am going to finally get all that information onto my family tree maker program. I also need to go through our file cabinet and see how I can improve upon the files. We have mulitple copies of things,because the military would always lose documents.However,we have a copy machine and we really don't need to keep 10 copies of Rick's Purple Heart orders on hand,for instance. We can use any unneeded papers for fire starter,or for scrap paper. Whichever comes first. Again,that will be a winter project.
Right now I am in the process of making gluten free pie crust for an apple pie. The crust has to chill for an hour. While that is going on,I am washing Zach's bedding,then I should do some ironing.One load is in the dryer,the other in the washer.Rick will probably have to roll out the crust,though.Rolling crust and I don't mix. I wind up trying it several times and he always has to rescue me!He seems to have the magic touch.
Well, I need to go get the apples ready,so I should scoot. Have a great day in your place in the world!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Remembering Those Who Made The Ultimate Sacrifice
Tomorrow is Memorial Day. It's the day when we reflect and thank those who have died for this wonderful country. Without those brave souls,the United States would not exist.
Having had a husband who served,and who came very close more than once to being one of these fallen,Memorial Day is very special for me.
Not only am I thankful for those who died in service,it reminds me of how much more I need to to thankful for. Someone was watching out for Rick. I am convinced of it.
Tomorrow Zach and I are marching with our Boy Scout Troop in the Rochester Memorial Day Parade,and will attend a ceremony at the Commons afterward.Next year Rick should be able to join us. We will lower our flag to half staff,and each of us will reflect on the day in our own,quiet way. We will probably watch the ceremony in Washington,and a few war movies in tribute.
And we will never forget. Without these brave men and woman,who gave their lives for the freedom of their country,there wouldn't BE a country. It's their selfless act that makes our country great. We should never forget it.
Rick wrote this poem.He started it in Iraq and finished it after he was wounded:
A Soldier's Fight
I fight for God and peace,I fight for duty,honor,country.
I fight for my family so my wife will have a husband
So my son will have a father
So my younger brothers will have an older brother
So my father will have an their oldest son
I fight for those who have already fought
Many of them making the ulitimate sacrifice
I fight so others will not have to fight
I fight for those who are unable to fight
But yearn to
I fight for the freedom of those who can fight
But choose not to
I fight for my fellow soliders who stand beside me
In battle
I fight for my own life,knowing all to well
Each fight could be my last
-Spc Richard F Shaw,Jr 2005
Happy Memorial Day!
Having had a husband who served,and who came very close more than once to being one of these fallen,Memorial Day is very special for me.
Not only am I thankful for those who died in service,it reminds me of how much more I need to to thankful for. Someone was watching out for Rick. I am convinced of it.
Tomorrow Zach and I are marching with our Boy Scout Troop in the Rochester Memorial Day Parade,and will attend a ceremony at the Commons afterward.Next year Rick should be able to join us. We will lower our flag to half staff,and each of us will reflect on the day in our own,quiet way. We will probably watch the ceremony in Washington,and a few war movies in tribute.
And we will never forget. Without these brave men and woman,who gave their lives for the freedom of their country,there wouldn't BE a country. It's their selfless act that makes our country great. We should never forget it.
Rick wrote this poem.He started it in Iraq and finished it after he was wounded:
A Soldier's Fight
I fight for God and peace,I fight for duty,honor,country.
I fight for my family so my wife will have a husband
So my son will have a father
So my younger brothers will have an older brother
So my father will have an their oldest son
I fight for those who have already fought
Many of them making the ulitimate sacrifice
I fight so others will not have to fight
I fight for those who are unable to fight
But yearn to
I fight for the freedom of those who can fight
But choose not to
I fight for my fellow soliders who stand beside me
In battle
I fight for my own life,knowing all to well
Each fight could be my last
-Spc Richard F Shaw,Jr 2005
Happy Memorial Day!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
After the Storm
What is that golden orb shining in the sky? Where is all that water coming out of the sky? AH......it's sunshine and NO RAIN!!!
We live in an area with a high water table,so every spring when the snow melts,or when there is alot of rain we get water in the basement. Our sub pump has been running since Monday. Our basement has puddles here and there and a good portion of the floor is wet. We are very lucky,however. Some people have had their homes flooded. Rhode Island has borne the brunt of this last system. I feel bad for everyone who had major damage. It seems like the Springs are getting wetter and wetter,global warming or not.( My personal belief is that the pollution in the air is making the natural cycle of the planet's temperature move along faster. If we were more careful,we could at least slow it down a tad).
Yesterday we went to Concord,the state capital,and the home to the NH National Guard Headquarters. Rick was finally retired yesterday (or, should I say,he signed his paperwork...it's all official on the 23rd) We all had our retirement ID's taken. Zach was excited because this was his first official ID,since he is now 12.He was funny. He was sitting there with his "Sniper-Don't run,you'll only die tired" Tshirt on,and was worried about if he should smile or not for his ID. I told him to do whatever he felt like. He wound up giving a big grin,no teeth showing. We went to Ruby Tuesday's after for a celebratory lunch. It still has not sunk in that he will be retired. I suppose that will take a while,like anything else one waits for that takes a long time. Once it happens,it doesn't sink in for a bit.
We had a couple of appointments in Manchester today. We saw Rick's TBI Dr,and the sleep clinic read his chip in his sleep apnea machine. We mentioned that we have not heard anything about Rick's knees yet,and the TBI Dr had us go talk to Rick's TBI case worker,Lisa. Lisa was Rick's PTSD social worker for a year until she got promoted and moved into the TBI unit. Lisa was in a meeting,so we chatted with Gordon,an intern. We told him that we really needed to get Rick's knees fixed,because they have gotten worse since our appt to Dartmouth in Feb. He said he would relay the info to Lisa,and she would get in touch with whoever she needed to talk to. On the way home,Gordon called Rick's cell and told him that he had spoken to Lisa,and that it looked like all his paperwork was in order,it just needed to be sent to the right place,and she would make sure that it was. So things are starting to roll right along again.
We live in an area with a high water table,so every spring when the snow melts,or when there is alot of rain we get water in the basement. Our sub pump has been running since Monday. Our basement has puddles here and there and a good portion of the floor is wet. We are very lucky,however. Some people have had their homes flooded. Rhode Island has borne the brunt of this last system. I feel bad for everyone who had major damage. It seems like the Springs are getting wetter and wetter,global warming or not.( My personal belief is that the pollution in the air is making the natural cycle of the planet's temperature move along faster. If we were more careful,we could at least slow it down a tad).
Yesterday we went to Concord,the state capital,and the home to the NH National Guard Headquarters. Rick was finally retired yesterday (or, should I say,he signed his paperwork...it's all official on the 23rd) We all had our retirement ID's taken. Zach was excited because this was his first official ID,since he is now 12.He was funny. He was sitting there with his "Sniper-Don't run,you'll only die tired" Tshirt on,and was worried about if he should smile or not for his ID. I told him to do whatever he felt like. He wound up giving a big grin,no teeth showing. We went to Ruby Tuesday's after for a celebratory lunch. It still has not sunk in that he will be retired. I suppose that will take a while,like anything else one waits for that takes a long time. Once it happens,it doesn't sink in for a bit.
We had a couple of appointments in Manchester today. We saw Rick's TBI Dr,and the sleep clinic read his chip in his sleep apnea machine. We mentioned that we have not heard anything about Rick's knees yet,and the TBI Dr had us go talk to Rick's TBI case worker,Lisa. Lisa was Rick's PTSD social worker for a year until she got promoted and moved into the TBI unit. Lisa was in a meeting,so we chatted with Gordon,an intern. We told him that we really needed to get Rick's knees fixed,because they have gotten worse since our appt to Dartmouth in Feb. He said he would relay the info to Lisa,and she would get in touch with whoever she needed to talk to. On the way home,Gordon called Rick's cell and told him that he had spoken to Lisa,and that it looked like all his paperwork was in order,it just needed to be sent to the right place,and she would make sure that it was. So things are starting to roll right along again.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
A Last Appointment
Today is the last appointment for the med board!
Rick is having an EMG ( electronic nerve testing) done on his right foot. This was the last test that the military wanted,and since there were no openings for appointments when we were at Fort Drum,the appointment had to be outsourced here in NH. There were a few snags and miscommunication with the VA,so the process got held up,but today is the day.
The rest of his NARSUMS ( narrative summaries) are completed,so once Fort Drum receives these test results,the last NARSUM can be written up,then his packet will be sent to Walter Reed for the final review. Whew!
So today is a good day.
I have been gearing up for Christmas. We bought new house lights ( ours had had it) yesterday,and I went into the woods out back and got some greenery. I picked from three different types of pine trees to get a nice mix. I put them in hanging planters by the road,my window boxes,and this year I will put them in our old Cub Scout Chuck Wagon.I usually mix them in with red berries. There wasn't a lot of red berries around where I normally get them this year,so I only have a few branches to use. I will keep the berries in the house,and put small red ribbons in my greenery outside. I have a large wreath I put on the front of the house,and this year I bought two smaller wreaths,one for each side of my french doors. I usually put a wreath on our house door,but this year I bought a door cover that has Santa on it,which is sound activated. It plays the Christmas Song and lights up. I am sure it will be annoying by the end of the first day,but I wanted to do something different this year.
Inside I put the greenery and berries on all my window sills with my battery operated candles (I don't have enough outlets for the electric ones,and even if I did the cords are never long enough)and on my shelf in the dining room. It is this huge old mirror that has a shelf on it and what it's from,I don't' know,probably some bedroom set. I bought it for $60 several years ago,and I love it.I also make a display in a vase on the dining room table.
I am trying white lights on our Christmas tree this year. I have never had white lights,always colored lights,my whole life. I am trying to go for a more natural look,more simple,more old fashioned. I have my red and white checked ribbons,glitter snowflakes,candy canes,special ornaments (using only a few)and Christmas cards that I think are really pretty. I also tuck in some pine cones here and there.
Today is rainy and foggy,so I won't be able to start the outdoor decorating.I will putter around inside,do a couple of loads of laundry,and start writing out my Christmas cards ( which I actually bought four weeks ago!!!!) Rick started supper in the crock pot-pork roast with onion,potatoes,carrots,and garlic.
Still no snow in our neck of the woods. Up north they got a few inches over the weekend,but still nothing down here.I am not complaining!!! :)
Rick is having an EMG ( electronic nerve testing) done on his right foot. This was the last test that the military wanted,and since there were no openings for appointments when we were at Fort Drum,the appointment had to be outsourced here in NH. There were a few snags and miscommunication with the VA,so the process got held up,but today is the day.
The rest of his NARSUMS ( narrative summaries) are completed,so once Fort Drum receives these test results,the last NARSUM can be written up,then his packet will be sent to Walter Reed for the final review. Whew!
So today is a good day.
I have been gearing up for Christmas. We bought new house lights ( ours had had it) yesterday,and I went into the woods out back and got some greenery. I picked from three different types of pine trees to get a nice mix. I put them in hanging planters by the road,my window boxes,and this year I will put them in our old Cub Scout Chuck Wagon.I usually mix them in with red berries. There wasn't a lot of red berries around where I normally get them this year,so I only have a few branches to use. I will keep the berries in the house,and put small red ribbons in my greenery outside. I have a large wreath I put on the front of the house,and this year I bought two smaller wreaths,one for each side of my french doors. I usually put a wreath on our house door,but this year I bought a door cover that has Santa on it,which is sound activated. It plays the Christmas Song and lights up. I am sure it will be annoying by the end of the first day,but I wanted to do something different this year.
Inside I put the greenery and berries on all my window sills with my battery operated candles (I don't have enough outlets for the electric ones,and even if I did the cords are never long enough)and on my shelf in the dining room. It is this huge old mirror that has a shelf on it and what it's from,I don't' know,probably some bedroom set. I bought it for $60 several years ago,and I love it.I also make a display in a vase on the dining room table.
I am trying white lights on our Christmas tree this year. I have never had white lights,always colored lights,my whole life. I am trying to go for a more natural look,more simple,more old fashioned. I have my red and white checked ribbons,glitter snowflakes,candy canes,special ornaments (using only a few)and Christmas cards that I think are really pretty. I also tuck in some pine cones here and there.
Today is rainy and foggy,so I won't be able to start the outdoor decorating.I will putter around inside,do a couple of loads of laundry,and start writing out my Christmas cards ( which I actually bought four weeks ago!!!!) Rick started supper in the crock pot-pork roast with onion,potatoes,carrots,and garlic.
Still no snow in our neck of the woods. Up north they got a few inches over the weekend,but still nothing down here.I am not complaining!!! :)
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Thank you,Veterans!
Today is Veterans Day,the day in which we take time to thank and remember all the sacrifices members of our military have made to keep us free.Whether they have served in combat or not,they are there to make sure our liberties remain in tact.
Some have made the ultimate sacrfice,some have physical permanent wounds,and some have mental pernmanent wounds we cannot see.
Yesterday at Zach's school,they held a Veteran's Assembly,hosted by the 6th grade. Veterans were invited to attend and be honored. Rick and I went,and he wore his uniform (he found one that fit). It was the first time in a long time that he wore one of this uniforms that he wore in Iraq,and he said it made him feel strange,but he wanted to wear it for Zach because he "wanted Zach to be proud" of him. Rick claimed he could still smell "the Iraq" smell in his uniform,though it has been four years and several washings later.
The ceremony was very nice. The Boy Scouts did the opening and closing ceremony ( Zach joined them,even though he is not in the local troop). There were readings of "In Flanders Field",an explanation of the Gettysburg Address ( which Zach took part in ),a joint recitation of the Gettysburg Address by the 6th grade,flag ettiqutette,and a speech by Major Shaw of the Marines (no relation). The most touching part was the recoginition of veterans. They called out the name of the conflict,then had the vets present who had served in that conflict stand up. They started with WWII,and one lone gentleman stood up. Everyone gave him a standing ovation and a long cheer. I got a bit choked up. We do not have many WWII vets left,so they are very precious.They are an amazing generation of Americans. My father also served in WWII,in New Guinea,so I grew up hearing some stories about the war.Sadly,he passed away in 1990.
Next was Korea,and this gentleman also recieved a standing ovation and some cheers. Korea seems to be the forgotton war,overshadowed by WWII and Vietnam. My uncle Bobby( my Dad's brother) served in Korea.
Next came Vietnam. A handful of gentleman stood up,and they recieved an ovation and some cheers as well.It made me think of how terrible it must of been for some of them to come home to hostility. They were not welcomed with open arms like their predessors,and the VA system at the time was really sad. They were tossed to the side and treated like second class citizens. It was pathetic. To me, if it wasn't for Vietnam vets,the VA would not have been improved they way it has been,nor would any benefits the vets are entitled be improved upon. It has been their ongoing fight for decent treatment of veterans that have made things much better for those who are are serving today. I have great respect for Vietnam vets.My brother in law served in Vietnam,and my oldest brother was stationed on the DMZ in Korea during Vietnam.
Then came Operation Desert Storm/Desert Shield/Gulf War/Operation Iraqi Freedom. It seemed like every single head turned towards Rick. He stood up,and he too,recieved a standing ovation,which was fairly lengthy,and the kids started cheering and yelling LOUDLY. I stood next to him,clapping and cheering, with a big smile on my face,trying to blink back tears. It was an amazing feeling to have my husband being cheered and recognized in such a manner. This war is to these children what Vietnam was to my generation,though I was in second grade when the war ended in 1975. These kids are 4-6 graders,so they will remember it far better than I remember Vietnam.
My second brother served in Desert Storm.
There was retired Marine Major who spoke, He spoke briefly about his service,and how he went to Grenada,and if he haddn't been sent to Grenada,he would've been at the Embassy in Beriut where a suicide bomber killed 200 Marines.He asked for a brief moment of prayer for all veterans. Now, bear in mind that there were 4-6 grade children there. I expected some whispering or giggling,as kids tend to do. There was nothing but silence. You could've heard a pin drop. No feet shuffing,no coughing,nothing. Total silence. It was wonderful.
After his speech,I looked at the program and noticed that "Taps"was on it. Rick has a very difficult time hearing taps. If it's on TV, he will leave the room. I leaned over and told him that taps was on the program,to give him a heads up. He said he haddn't noticed. I asked him if him was going to be OK,and he said he was.He stood at attention during it,but later admitted that he almost broke down during it.
It was a lovely tribute.
Let us thank all veterans and their families for their service and sacrifice,not just today,but eveyday. Let us also have a special moment of silence for those in Fort Hood.
Thank you,veterans.We are forever indebed to you.
Some have made the ultimate sacrfice,some have physical permanent wounds,and some have mental pernmanent wounds we cannot see.
Yesterday at Zach's school,they held a Veteran's Assembly,hosted by the 6th grade. Veterans were invited to attend and be honored. Rick and I went,and he wore his uniform (he found one that fit). It was the first time in a long time that he wore one of this uniforms that he wore in Iraq,and he said it made him feel strange,but he wanted to wear it for Zach because he "wanted Zach to be proud" of him. Rick claimed he could still smell "the Iraq" smell in his uniform,though it has been four years and several washings later.
The ceremony was very nice. The Boy Scouts did the opening and closing ceremony ( Zach joined them,even though he is not in the local troop). There were readings of "In Flanders Field",an explanation of the Gettysburg Address ( which Zach took part in ),a joint recitation of the Gettysburg Address by the 6th grade,flag ettiqutette,and a speech by Major Shaw of the Marines (no relation). The most touching part was the recoginition of veterans. They called out the name of the conflict,then had the vets present who had served in that conflict stand up. They started with WWII,and one lone gentleman stood up. Everyone gave him a standing ovation and a long cheer. I got a bit choked up. We do not have many WWII vets left,so they are very precious.They are an amazing generation of Americans. My father also served in WWII,in New Guinea,so I grew up hearing some stories about the war.Sadly,he passed away in 1990.
Next was Korea,and this gentleman also recieved a standing ovation and some cheers. Korea seems to be the forgotton war,overshadowed by WWII and Vietnam. My uncle Bobby( my Dad's brother) served in Korea.
Next came Vietnam. A handful of gentleman stood up,and they recieved an ovation and some cheers as well.It made me think of how terrible it must of been for some of them to come home to hostility. They were not welcomed with open arms like their predessors,and the VA system at the time was really sad. They were tossed to the side and treated like second class citizens. It was pathetic. To me, if it wasn't for Vietnam vets,the VA would not have been improved they way it has been,nor would any benefits the vets are entitled be improved upon. It has been their ongoing fight for decent treatment of veterans that have made things much better for those who are are serving today. I have great respect for Vietnam vets.My brother in law served in Vietnam,and my oldest brother was stationed on the DMZ in Korea during Vietnam.
Then came Operation Desert Storm/Desert Shield/Gulf War/Operation Iraqi Freedom. It seemed like every single head turned towards Rick. He stood up,and he too,recieved a standing ovation,which was fairly lengthy,and the kids started cheering and yelling LOUDLY. I stood next to him,clapping and cheering, with a big smile on my face,trying to blink back tears. It was an amazing feeling to have my husband being cheered and recognized in such a manner. This war is to these children what Vietnam was to my generation,though I was in second grade when the war ended in 1975. These kids are 4-6 graders,so they will remember it far better than I remember Vietnam.
My second brother served in Desert Storm.
There was retired Marine Major who spoke, He spoke briefly about his service,and how he went to Grenada,and if he haddn't been sent to Grenada,he would've been at the Embassy in Beriut where a suicide bomber killed 200 Marines.He asked for a brief moment of prayer for all veterans. Now, bear in mind that there were 4-6 grade children there. I expected some whispering or giggling,as kids tend to do. There was nothing but silence. You could've heard a pin drop. No feet shuffing,no coughing,nothing. Total silence. It was wonderful.
After his speech,I looked at the program and noticed that "Taps"was on it. Rick has a very difficult time hearing taps. If it's on TV, he will leave the room. I leaned over and told him that taps was on the program,to give him a heads up. He said he haddn't noticed. I asked him if him was going to be OK,and he said he was.He stood at attention during it,but later admitted that he almost broke down during it.
It was a lovely tribute.
Let us thank all veterans and their families for their service and sacrifice,not just today,but eveyday. Let us also have a special moment of silence for those in Fort Hood.
Thank you,veterans.We are forever indebed to you.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Med Board Findings
We got back from Fort Drum last Friday night,and the week went well. On Tues Rick had Behavioral Health,and Part 1 and Part 2 of his physical. Behavioral Health is a fancy term for "we are going check to see if you really have PTSD." When we went to check in,we were told that the Dr was not in that week,but they would see when they could schedule us,and would we please have a seat? I was sputtering," If they can't do this appointment this week,I am going to be very very angry," among a few other choice phrases. Rick kept telling me to keep my voice down." Let's not get upset yet," he told me."They wouldn't have had us come here if someone wasn't going to see us." I was amazed that he could seem so calm. "Oh,I'm not, "he told me,"but I am trying very hard to hold it together."
About 20 minutes later, a soft spoken woman came over to us. "Specialist Shaw,the Dr you were suppose to see is not here this week,but we have arranged for you to see another Dr via teleconference from Walter Reed Hospital.Please follow me." We both breathed a collective sigh of relief and followed her to another part of the building.They brought us into the teleconference room,and I must admit it was pretty neat.The Dr was there on a big flat screen TV. He went over the report that the Dr had made in March,and asked us questions. I told him that Rick had a NeuroPsych evaluation in May,and did he have access to that report? He said that while he could pull up a few VA reports,he was not able to pull up that one. I told him I had it,and could we fax it to him. He said that would be great,so I went out to the reception area and gave the soft spoken lady the report for her to fax.
He read the report,then asked,"How old is the Dr that administered this test?" Right away our warning flags went up. " He is older, maybe late 60's or early 70's," I told him."That would explain it," he said. "This test is an old testing method. It really doesn't tell me much. Testing for TBI has changed two or three times." Rick and I groaned. Great. However...." Rick is scheduled for another Neuro Psych eval this week," I told him. " Well,it couldn't hurt,"he said. His initial diagnosis was Cognitive Disorder NOS.Because some of the symptoms of PTSD and TBI are the same,there is no way of telling what is what. Apparently this is a new term they use for patients with PTSD and TBI.
Next was Rick's Part 1 Physical,which consisted of blood work,a hearing test,an eye test,a chest xray,and and EKG. Then we went to Part 2,where his medical history is gone over. When we went in March, Part 2 took over 3 hours. We had to fill out all of Rick's medical history. They then go over everything with him and type up their comments. Since most of the work was done,this time they just went over what was written up in the report before,and added any changes.They want Rick to have an EMG done on his right foot-electronic impulse testing-to see if he has any nerve damage,which we are doing through the VA. Rick now walks on the outside of his right foot because of his knee pain,and it is causing blisters and calluses.He also now sort of swings his right foot out to the side in a sort of semi circle when he walks. They also made note of his knees,his sleep apnea,hypopituitaryism,and his hypothyroidism.
Wednesday was Range of Motion,which was for his knees. I hate when they test his knees, because I know how much pain he is in,and I always get tears in my eyes. I can't help it.He told Rick that each knee should bend to 140 degrees,and his only bend to 90 on one and 85 on the other. He said to Rick," Your knees are messed up." They are waiting for a report from the Orthopedic Surgeon at the Boston VA,whom we saw today to see if Rick will have surgery. I will have to post about that appointment separately.
Thursday was a really big test: the NeuroPsych evaluation. This test determines if Rick has TBI,and at what level. The test he had in May said he had TBI,but it was not a very thou rough report. It didn't say at what level it was,and it was a page and a half. The military wanted something more specific,with a longer report. We went to another town to see a civilian PhD,who the military uses. He was very nice,and conducted a medical and mental health record review,clinical interview,and NAB ( Neuropsychological Assessment Battery).He asked about several symptoms,and out of the 30,Rick had 27. He then gave him testing in the following areas:Attention,Language,Memory,Spatial,and Executive Functioning. The tests took 5 hours. Rick thought it had only been 30-60 minutes. He also thought that he was going quickly on the tests,when in actuality he was going rather slowly.
When Rick was done, the Dr said he could give us a preliminary diagnosis based on the test scoring and his impressions. Here is what the test results showed. 100 is considered average.
Attention: 49 Severely impaired
Language:73 Mildly to moderately impaired
Memory:68 Moderately impaired
Spatial:75 Mildly to moderately impaired
Executive Functions: 83 Mildly impaired
Total:64
The bottom line is his brain injury is considered moderate.
We were surprised. Moderate? Not mild? We had been told he had a mild injury because he didn't lose consciousness when the explosion happened. We told the Dr this,and he said, "Who told you that? Excuse my language,but that is bullshit." The blast affected his brain globally.Rick was depressed after this appointment,but we were glad that finally,we have a proper diagnosis.
Once the military has all the information,they will finalize the NARSUM ( Narrative Summary),send it to us,then send it to Walter Reed Hospital,where it will be reviewed by doctors who will determine if Rick can be retired,or temporarily retired ( if they think some of his problems might be able to get better). We should know after the holidays.
About 20 minutes later, a soft spoken woman came over to us. "Specialist Shaw,the Dr you were suppose to see is not here this week,but we have arranged for you to see another Dr via teleconference from Walter Reed Hospital.Please follow me." We both breathed a collective sigh of relief and followed her to another part of the building.They brought us into the teleconference room,and I must admit it was pretty neat.The Dr was there on a big flat screen TV. He went over the report that the Dr had made in March,and asked us questions. I told him that Rick had a NeuroPsych evaluation in May,and did he have access to that report? He said that while he could pull up a few VA reports,he was not able to pull up that one. I told him I had it,and could we fax it to him. He said that would be great,so I went out to the reception area and gave the soft spoken lady the report for her to fax.
He read the report,then asked,"How old is the Dr that administered this test?" Right away our warning flags went up. " He is older, maybe late 60's or early 70's," I told him."That would explain it," he said. "This test is an old testing method. It really doesn't tell me much. Testing for TBI has changed two or three times." Rick and I groaned. Great. However...." Rick is scheduled for another Neuro Psych eval this week," I told him. " Well,it couldn't hurt,"he said. His initial diagnosis was Cognitive Disorder NOS.Because some of the symptoms of PTSD and TBI are the same,there is no way of telling what is what. Apparently this is a new term they use for patients with PTSD and TBI.
Next was Rick's Part 1 Physical,which consisted of blood work,a hearing test,an eye test,a chest xray,and and EKG. Then we went to Part 2,where his medical history is gone over. When we went in March, Part 2 took over 3 hours. We had to fill out all of Rick's medical history. They then go over everything with him and type up their comments. Since most of the work was done,this time they just went over what was written up in the report before,and added any changes.They want Rick to have an EMG done on his right foot-electronic impulse testing-to see if he has any nerve damage,which we are doing through the VA. Rick now walks on the outside of his right foot because of his knee pain,and it is causing blisters and calluses.He also now sort of swings his right foot out to the side in a sort of semi circle when he walks. They also made note of his knees,his sleep apnea,hypopituitaryism,and his hypothyroidism.
Wednesday was Range of Motion,which was for his knees. I hate when they test his knees, because I know how much pain he is in,and I always get tears in my eyes. I can't help it.He told Rick that each knee should bend to 140 degrees,and his only bend to 90 on one and 85 on the other. He said to Rick," Your knees are messed up." They are waiting for a report from the Orthopedic Surgeon at the Boston VA,whom we saw today to see if Rick will have surgery. I will have to post about that appointment separately.
Thursday was a really big test: the NeuroPsych evaluation. This test determines if Rick has TBI,and at what level. The test he had in May said he had TBI,but it was not a very thou rough report. It didn't say at what level it was,and it was a page and a half. The military wanted something more specific,with a longer report. We went to another town to see a civilian PhD,who the military uses. He was very nice,and conducted a medical and mental health record review,clinical interview,and NAB ( Neuropsychological Assessment Battery).He asked about several symptoms,and out of the 30,Rick had 27. He then gave him testing in the following areas:Attention,Language,Memory,Spatial,and Executive Functioning. The tests took 5 hours. Rick thought it had only been 30-60 minutes. He also thought that he was going quickly on the tests,when in actuality he was going rather slowly.
When Rick was done, the Dr said he could give us a preliminary diagnosis based on the test scoring and his impressions. Here is what the test results showed. 100 is considered average.
Attention: 49 Severely impaired
Language:73 Mildly to moderately impaired
Memory:68 Moderately impaired
Spatial:75 Mildly to moderately impaired
Executive Functions: 83 Mildly impaired
Total:64
The bottom line is his brain injury is considered moderate.
We were surprised. Moderate? Not mild? We had been told he had a mild injury because he didn't lose consciousness when the explosion happened. We told the Dr this,and he said, "Who told you that? Excuse my language,but that is bullshit." The blast affected his brain globally.Rick was depressed after this appointment,but we were glad that finally,we have a proper diagnosis.
Once the military has all the information,they will finalize the NARSUM ( Narrative Summary),send it to us,then send it to Walter Reed Hospital,where it will be reviewed by doctors who will determine if Rick can be retired,or temporarily retired ( if they think some of his problems might be able to get better). We should know after the holidays.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Hi Ho,Hi Ho,Back to Fort Drum We Go
Well,Rick and I leave tomorrow for our last (hopefully)trip to Fort Drum,NY. We have our itinerary,and Rick begins his doctor appointments on Tuesday.It will be a long week,as he basically has only one appointment a day. It would be great if they could do more than one,and get everything done in just two or three days instead of four,but,as with everything in the military,it's "hurry up and wait."
Rick is very nervous,because he doesn't want to have to go through all this another time. I think he is more afraid of his reaction if this is not the last time we have to do this. Rick is great about holding back his anger (and that is due in part to his medication),but if he lets it go,it will not be pretty.People have told us,"What are you having a problem with? You get paid every month by the National Guard,and you will wind up making less than you do now." That is true,however,that is not the point. No one who has been wounded while serving his country should have to wait four years to complete a medical board review. No one. You never know when they will call and say,"By the way,you are going to Fort Drum next week." Usually you do not get much advance notice. What if you have planned to go somewhere? Fly across the country? Do something special with your family? You are at the mercy of the board,and it's when they have a slot to put you in. Whatever is going on in your life is not their problem. Take for instance Rick's knee appointment. This is the appt we have been waiting for for a year. First we had to reschedule because the doctor was going to be on vacation,then we had to reschedule because the med board was going to be the week of our rescheduled appt. As much as we want the med board completed,if they could have waited another week so we could at least find out what they are going to do with Rick's knees,it wouldn't have hurt our feelings any. We are also a bit confused regarding the med board and his knees. First we were told that they wouldn't do the board until Rick knew what was going on with his knees,and if it was surgery,he would have to be fully healed to his ability before they would send him to Fort Drum. Then,two weeks later,we were told that they wanted him at the med board in October-regardless of what was going on with his knees.
It has been an ongoing source of frustration for four years now,and it does not help someone with PTSD. Everytime there is a glitch,it compounds the symptoms.When Fort Drum calls the day after Rick has an appt,and they inquire if he went because the dr's notes aren't up yet,it makes him very angry. He keeps telling them,"I do everything I need to do on my end. My appt was just yesterday,if the notes aren't up,then they haven't been written yet." Or when they tell him to tell his doctors that they need to write more in their notes,that also ticks him off. "I am not going to tell my doctors how to do their job. You want more info,then please feel free to ask them."
One thing we are very happy about is now the military can access VA records electronically. When we went in March, we had to bring copies of all his records. I had to carry them around,and they weighed around 8-10 lbs and were many inches thick.Now we don't have to worry about that. My back and shoulders are very grateful!
Rick is very nervous,because he doesn't want to have to go through all this another time. I think he is more afraid of his reaction if this is not the last time we have to do this. Rick is great about holding back his anger (and that is due in part to his medication),but if he lets it go,it will not be pretty.People have told us,"What are you having a problem with? You get paid every month by the National Guard,and you will wind up making less than you do now." That is true,however,that is not the point. No one who has been wounded while serving his country should have to wait four years to complete a medical board review. No one. You never know when they will call and say,"By the way,you are going to Fort Drum next week." Usually you do not get much advance notice. What if you have planned to go somewhere? Fly across the country? Do something special with your family? You are at the mercy of the board,and it's when they have a slot to put you in. Whatever is going on in your life is not their problem. Take for instance Rick's knee appointment. This is the appt we have been waiting for for a year. First we had to reschedule because the doctor was going to be on vacation,then we had to reschedule because the med board was going to be the week of our rescheduled appt. As much as we want the med board completed,if they could have waited another week so we could at least find out what they are going to do with Rick's knees,it wouldn't have hurt our feelings any. We are also a bit confused regarding the med board and his knees. First we were told that they wouldn't do the board until Rick knew what was going on with his knees,and if it was surgery,he would have to be fully healed to his ability before they would send him to Fort Drum. Then,two weeks later,we were told that they wanted him at the med board in October-regardless of what was going on with his knees.
It has been an ongoing source of frustration for four years now,and it does not help someone with PTSD. Everytime there is a glitch,it compounds the symptoms.When Fort Drum calls the day after Rick has an appt,and they inquire if he went because the dr's notes aren't up yet,it makes him very angry. He keeps telling them,"I do everything I need to do on my end. My appt was just yesterday,if the notes aren't up,then they haven't been written yet." Or when they tell him to tell his doctors that they need to write more in their notes,that also ticks him off. "I am not going to tell my doctors how to do their job. You want more info,then please feel free to ask them."
One thing we are very happy about is now the military can access VA records electronically. When we went in March, we had to bring copies of all his records. I had to carry them around,and they weighed around 8-10 lbs and were many inches thick.Now we don't have to worry about that. My back and shoulders are very grateful!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
A Month In the Life
Some people don't understand why I don't work,and some people certainly feel like I am doing something wrong by not contributing to the welfare of my family ( at least, monetarily). I challenge them,however. I DO contribute to the welfare of my family,everyday. I help run the house,remind Rick of various things,and bring him to his various appointments. I offer him physical and mental support daily. Our bills and mortgage are paid,we have food and clothing. Rick gets incapacitation pay from the National Guard until he gets released from the military,and then we will have income from either the military or the VA ( or both) and Social Security for his disability. We are not on welfare. For what my husband has given for this country,he deserves all that he is entitled to.
Now, some months are more busy than others, but we generally average at least four appointments a month. And for those of you who go to the VA,you know how it is. If you aren't flexible in when you can have your appointments,then you have to wait months. Most employers will not take it too kindly if you need to take 3-6 days off a month. Your time at that job will be abbreviated,that is for sure.
For example, this our doctor schedule for this month:
July 8-monthly appt with social worker for PTSD
July 10-three month follow up with VA psychologist
July 13-Eye appt
July 14-orthopedist appt.( Rick can barely walk due to his knees. He had the meniscus removed from both knees from his Airborne days and now has arthritis. He has to walk with Canadian crutches,or,as we call them, "Jimmy Sticks,"based on the character from South Park.)
July 21-Blood work
July 23- Neuro TBI eval ( he is finally having a more complete battery of tests now that he could complete the first Neuro TBI testing. He couldn't before when his PTSD was bad)
July 24-Neuro eye eval
July 28-3 month follow up with primary care physician
Each Thursday, PTSD support group through the Disabled American Veterans.
I have a job! Taking care of my hubby and household.
One of our objectives is being a bit more self sufficient,to help cut some costs.We won't go without,but we will weigh what is necessary and what is not. That doesn't mean we won't splurge on something ( like we bought a few fireworks for the fourth),but we won't go nuts,either.
Now, some months are more busy than others, but we generally average at least four appointments a month. And for those of you who go to the VA,you know how it is. If you aren't flexible in when you can have your appointments,then you have to wait months. Most employers will not take it too kindly if you need to take 3-6 days off a month. Your time at that job will be abbreviated,that is for sure.
For example, this our doctor schedule for this month:
July 8-monthly appt with social worker for PTSD
July 10-three month follow up with VA psychologist
July 13-Eye appt
July 14-orthopedist appt.( Rick can barely walk due to his knees. He had the meniscus removed from both knees from his Airborne days and now has arthritis. He has to walk with Canadian crutches,or,as we call them, "Jimmy Sticks,"based on the character from South Park.)
July 21-Blood work
July 23- Neuro TBI eval ( he is finally having a more complete battery of tests now that he could complete the first Neuro TBI testing. He couldn't before when his PTSD was bad)
July 24-Neuro eye eval
July 28-3 month follow up with primary care physician
Each Thursday, PTSD support group through the Disabled American Veterans.
I have a job! Taking care of my hubby and household.
One of our objectives is being a bit more self sufficient,to help cut some costs.We won't go without,but we will weigh what is necessary and what is not. That doesn't mean we won't splurge on something ( like we bought a few fireworks for the fourth),but we won't go nuts,either.
Monday, June 15, 2009
What Was Important No Longer Is
In the summer of 2000, Rick came up to me and told me he was seriously considering joining the Army National Guard. He had been in full time Army in the 1980's,in the 325th Airborne,the only combat team stationed in Europe. He had been to many countries, and had seen combat. I was hesitant at first-it was still the military after all. He missed the military,he said,and plus, the chances were very slim of him going anywhere. It was the Guard! At most, he might help in the event of a natural disaster. I told him if it was that important to him,sure, go for it! I would support him all the way.
Well, we all know what happened next.
On Sept 11,2001, I was a store manager for a retail outlet store in MA. I was coming back from making the deposit when I heard on the radio that a plane had struck the twin towers. At the time,the theory was that it was a tragic accident. However, once I got back to the store more info started filtering in-Rick called and said there was a second plane,then the Pentagon had been hit. Later,the plane of heroes went down in a PA field.
All I wanted to do was to be with my family,but I was stuck at the store. I couldn't believe that people were still shopping. I was actually dumbfounded. I wanted to yell,"What is wrong with you people? We are under attack,thousands of people are dead,and you are shopping for underwear?! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!" I was completely disgusted,and still am,when I think about it.
That day changed my life and thought process. It just didn't seem worth it to me anymore. I was tired of having no life in retail-weekends, holidays,nights-what was the point? I had an 18 month contract,which was not up until the following September. I made up my mind then and there that once that contract was up, I was out of retail forever. I told Rick when I got home how I felt,and that I really wanted to move back to NH. He was in agreement. If I wasn't happy,there was no point.
Rick,needless to say,had a feeling that he was going to be going somewhere. We held our collective breath,waiting for the phone to ring. When it did, he was told at first that he might be going to Afghanistan. That was scary. Then, that was changed to Homeland Security at Manchester Airport in NH. That meant I had to find day care for Zach,since Rick would be up in NH. There weren't many options,and I was ready to pull the hair out of my head. About one week before he was scheduled to leave,the mission got cancelled. Another unit was going to do security at Manchester Airport. So we breathed a sigh of relief-for a while.
In 2002, we went back to NH. I became a dental hygienist assistant,and while it was OK, it wasn't really what I wanted to do. Zach was going to start school in 2003,and I really wanted to be a stay at home mom,if possible.Rick had started doing security at the Seabrook Nuclear Power Plant,but it was only a few months later when he got activated for Homeland Security at Pease International Tradeport. It was going to be a joint mission with the Air National Guard. At this point,we had gone into Iraq. When we went in, Rick predicted-" We are going in too fast,with not enough ground forces. The insurgents are going to come down into the towns and cities and it's going to be bad urban warfare. There is no way we are going to be greeted as liberators.You watch. All hell is going to break loose." Truer the words were never spoken.
Rick did two tours of Homeland Security,working as the armourer. He volunteered to go to Iraq several times, but was always told no, he was on this mission,and there he would stay. It did not help that the members of his unit not assigned to Homeland Security went to Iraq,guarding one of the prisons.
In Dec 2004,his last tour of Homeland Security was up,and went to work as a Correctional Officer at the County jail. We had been in our little house for about a year. He was activated for a couple of weeks in El Salvador,helping to train the El Salvadorian artillery. There were a few guys from his unit that went,quite a few of them had volunteered to go to Iraq.
Then, the phone call came that changed our lives forever.
Well, we all know what happened next.
On Sept 11,2001, I was a store manager for a retail outlet store in MA. I was coming back from making the deposit when I heard on the radio that a plane had struck the twin towers. At the time,the theory was that it was a tragic accident. However, once I got back to the store more info started filtering in-Rick called and said there was a second plane,then the Pentagon had been hit. Later,the plane of heroes went down in a PA field.
All I wanted to do was to be with my family,but I was stuck at the store. I couldn't believe that people were still shopping. I was actually dumbfounded. I wanted to yell,"What is wrong with you people? We are under attack,thousands of people are dead,and you are shopping for underwear?! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!" I was completely disgusted,and still am,when I think about it.
That day changed my life and thought process. It just didn't seem worth it to me anymore. I was tired of having no life in retail-weekends, holidays,nights-what was the point? I had an 18 month contract,which was not up until the following September. I made up my mind then and there that once that contract was up, I was out of retail forever. I told Rick when I got home how I felt,and that I really wanted to move back to NH. He was in agreement. If I wasn't happy,there was no point.
Rick,needless to say,had a feeling that he was going to be going somewhere. We held our collective breath,waiting for the phone to ring. When it did, he was told at first that he might be going to Afghanistan. That was scary. Then, that was changed to Homeland Security at Manchester Airport in NH. That meant I had to find day care for Zach,since Rick would be up in NH. There weren't many options,and I was ready to pull the hair out of my head. About one week before he was scheduled to leave,the mission got cancelled. Another unit was going to do security at Manchester Airport. So we breathed a sigh of relief-for a while.
In 2002, we went back to NH. I became a dental hygienist assistant,and while it was OK, it wasn't really what I wanted to do. Zach was going to start school in 2003,and I really wanted to be a stay at home mom,if possible.Rick had started doing security at the Seabrook Nuclear Power Plant,but it was only a few months later when he got activated for Homeland Security at Pease International Tradeport. It was going to be a joint mission with the Air National Guard. At this point,we had gone into Iraq. When we went in, Rick predicted-" We are going in too fast,with not enough ground forces. The insurgents are going to come down into the towns and cities and it's going to be bad urban warfare. There is no way we are going to be greeted as liberators.You watch. All hell is going to break loose." Truer the words were never spoken.
Rick did two tours of Homeland Security,working as the armourer. He volunteered to go to Iraq several times, but was always told no, he was on this mission,and there he would stay. It did not help that the members of his unit not assigned to Homeland Security went to Iraq,guarding one of the prisons.
In Dec 2004,his last tour of Homeland Security was up,and went to work as a Correctional Officer at the County jail. We had been in our little house for about a year. He was activated for a couple of weeks in El Salvador,helping to train the El Salvadorian artillery. There were a few guys from his unit that went,quite a few of them had volunteered to go to Iraq.
Then, the phone call came that changed our lives forever.
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