Now that my mind is clearer,I am back on my path to decluttering-body,mind,and home. I have been reading various blogs and books about topics that I deem part of my process-zen, minimalism,happiness,etc.
One thing that I have learned through the various journeys in my life is that what one person deems the perfect solution to what they are looking for in life,it may not apply to me. For instance,I will never be minimalist. It's not me,but I can certainly glean some fabulous insight from reading about folks who are,and apply them to my life in my own way to help create what I want. When Rick and I began trying to do more for ourselves,I felt that I was "less than" if we didn't do things the way others do. I quickly realized that everyone's journey is their own,and if someone thinks what I am doing is not the right thing to do,well,that's their problem,not mine.
My Dear Friend Michelle and I discuss these type of topics when ever we get together. While we are both working toward the life we want,neither one of us really fit into either end of the spectrum. We are not mindless consumers,buying everything new in sight,nor are we ones who espouse living with as little as possible. We are somewhere in the middle. I like creature comforts. I like having a TV in my bedroom,though many folks will say not to have the TV in your bedroom. When I have a hard time sleeping because my mind is racing about things that I have no control over,I turn the TV on (or my Kindle)and watch something to distract my thoughts,or I just close my eyes and listen. I am no longer worrying about something small,I wind up being relaxed,and fall asleep easier. Of course,this is not for everybody,but it certainly works for me.
I was very pleased to see that some of what I have been thinking of has been espoused in the various sources that I have been reading! Who knew? There are more people out there that think like me than I realized.
One thing I did decide to do after much contemplation is to up my meds. I claimed I was not going to do so,that I wanted to try and work on my issues through this decluttering process,but I had a reality check. If I really wanted to help myself,I needed to be honest. My symptoms,as I mentioned before,keep getting worse. When my depression hits,it takes away my motivation and happiness. When I went to the Drs for my sinus infection,I asked her about upping my meds and explained what was going on. She increased it by 37.5 mgs.I did not want to stop this process before it really gets started,which is what would've happened when I hit a valley,because it always happens. So I did what was right for me. Believe me, I know that there will be stress, good days and bad,and that it's not a magic solution. However,when my husband comments that he's noticed a change in me (and NOT for the better)I knew it was time to bite the bullet and do what I had to do-not just for myself,but for my family. I grew up with a depressed mother,who suffers from the same issues I do,and she never got help of any kind until 15 years ago.It was not a fun existence,and I swore I would never put my family through that,which is why when I started sounding like her and acting like her,I went on an anti depressant 9 years ago.
My plan is to take things slowly,a bit at a time.When I go whole hog,full on,it doesn't last. I revert back to old ways. This is not a race for me. I am not in a hurry. There is no finish line that I can cross and say,"There! I'm done,and in record time!" I want to enjoy each day,each learning experience,in my own way. In the end,isn't that what it's all about?
Have a fabulous day on this Fabulous Planet!